For Those Below
by DreamingOfNeverland
Summary: Romeo and Juliet, Antony and Cleopatra, Tristan and Isolde, Odysseus and Penelope. Why is it that all the greatest love stories have some of the most tragic plots? This is the tragic story of Annie Cresta and Finnick Odair. Although, look past the tragedy and you'll find one of the most amazing love stories out there. Begins at the End of Annie's Games.
1. The Victor of the 70th Hunger Games

I could feel it, feel it slipping away from me: my sanity. I didn't want to be here, like so many others from the other districts. It hadn't been good year in District 4 for all, leading to almost no training and also leading to no one volunteering on the girls side. One of my good friends though, Thom, had volunteered for the boys. However, I didn't want to be here, I knew I couldn't take it; the death and destruction of the game. Thom had been strong though, he helped me just as Mags and Finnick did in the beginning, when the others from District 1 and 2 came around. He helped me prove my worth with fishing, tying knots, creating nets, and my bit of skills with a knife, all the things my father had taught me but then we got here.

We rose up from the ground, emerging in a sort of basin with a large river running right through it and a large dam high up on the ridge to the right. Half were on one side, having split up the pairs from the districts, and separating me from my only true ally. Then it happened, with the cornucopia in the middle of the river, on a small sort of island the buzzer sounded and it began. Finnick had told me to run. "Run as fast as you can Annie," he had told me as we went over the game plan and I did. I ran as fast as I could towards the cornucopia and dove into the river before anyone else, pulling myself up onto the ledge. The careers left me alone, taking out the weaker districts that attempted to invade on 'our' territory, but some couldn't swim so they just took off into the trees. Grabbing up one of the bags, I quickly looked inside, thankfully seeing a water bottle and zipped it up with a smile before turning and looking for Thom. Then it happened.

Reaching up, I covered my ears and squeezed my eyes shut as I remembered the look on his face, the blood, there was so much blood in the river as I dove into it and started running again. I hadn't stopped running until finding the large hallowed out tree that I had been hiding in since then. When I was hungry I'd slip out and move to the river that I had fashioned a trap in for the many fish and it rained often enough to collect water. But, everyday I'd hear that stupid song, and it'd just continue on in my head which was filled with images of Thom dying and his blood running into what used to be so comforting to me: the water.

Curling up into a ball, I laid down on my side but didn't dare close my eyes as I tried to think of something good. Gripping onto, my long tangled mess of brown hair I focused my breathing, creating a soft rhythm that would hopefully lull me into peaceful dreams consisting of the world outside of this horrible place. I worked on imaging how the sand felt on my feet, so hot that you had to rush across it to the water. I worked on hearing the sounds of laughter from my friends and family, but mostly I worked on feeling the touch of Finnick's hand in mine just before I left him and Mags. He had been there for me since I stepped on that train coaching me along with Mags, but for some reason he had been there for me the most. We hadn't ever spoken a word to each other, well maybe a few hellos in school since we were only three years apart, but I couldn't remember any sort of interaction after he won his games five years ago. But since getting my name called he had been someone I could look to when in search of a smile, a laugh, of some encouragement.

Just then I heard a beeping outside of my hiding spot and slowly eased out on my hands and knees, looking around wildly in search for some sort of trap but my eyes landed on the parachute a couple feet in front of me. Scrambling out I grabbed it, stopping the beeping and rushed back into my hiding spot only to look at the gift. Who would send me a gift five weeks into the game?

Twisting off the top, I looked down to see a cup of stew. But it wasn't just any stew, it was the signature fish bone stew of District 4. Bringing it up, I sniffed it slightly only to catch sight of a note in the lid. "Hold on, Annie," I read out quietly and then unable to help it let out a giggle as I continued to reread Finnick's handwriting.

What was I supposed to hold onto?

oOo

_I could hear the screams of the others the few that had made it to the cornucopia and were part of the slaughter the Careers were carrying out: screaming, gurgling, and then silence. I tried to ignore it and stick to the plan, get the essentials, some knives. A bit excited for having gotten a good one, I turned to my ally during the games—having not thought about the end—and caught Thom turning to me, having kept the others away. Just then the sword sliced through the air, and I saw the intended path. My victorious smile faded out as the blood started to fly through the air, hitting me across the face. _

With a gasp I woke up not knowing when my dreams of the beach and home went away but glad that I had been shaken from my nightmares. But now a new problem arose and that was that I was still shaking, the whole area was shaking. Quickly I grabbed my pack, shoving everything in it, but the note from Finnick which I shoved in the pocket of my tight, light weight, fast drying pants which matched the shirt. Moving out from my hiding spot, I looked around to the wild life fleeing the area as the earthquake rumbled and decided that they must know more than I do and took off after a small deer as it leapt over the terrain.

'Run, run as fast as you can, Annie,' Finnick's voice echoed in my head as I moved over branches and around bushes. Just then there was a creak and crack ahead of me and a large tree came rumbled down, crashing into more trees in front of me. Wide eyed I skidded to a stop, falling onto the ground as one of them slammed into the ground right where I would have been had I kept running. Gasping for breath, I knew I couldn't stop and moved to my feet yet again. I had to get out of the trees.

The clearing that we arrived in sprang to my mind and I struggled to remember where it had been right as I stumbled into it with about twelve others. For five and a half weeks in, that was a lot of people to still be alive, probably causing the game makers to cause the earthquake. Instantly I paused and tucked back into the trees, hoping that I hadn't been seen as one of the Careers kicked into action killing off the girl from district 5 that had paused just the same, but in the open. It was almost like another bloodbath, but this time we were trapped in the center, too afraid to enter the forest.

Suddenly my tangles of hair were seized and I turned wide eyed to see the boy from District 1. "Look what we have here," he gave a devilish smile. Reaching up, I grabbed his hand, trying to pull away but his grip tightened, pulling even more on my hair so I was on my toes. "What? You're not even going to beg?" He laughed. "Where have you been any ways? Hiding like the coward your partner was? He went down so easily." Suddenly the images flashed in my mind and I quickly reached up and covered my ears as I squeezed my eyes shut. "Awe, does the poor baby not like hearing it?" He taunted, his voice echoing around in my mind over the rumble of the earth and screams echoing in the clearing. "My god, you've lost it haven't you?" He laughed right as there was a deafening crack. Instantly my eyes shot open and I looked back to the dam along with all the others, the fighting having stopped; you could see it, the water starting to pour out. Looking back to him, he looked just as wide eyed but he was still gripping onto my hair. I had to get out and run, I couldn't be here when the water flooded; I looked around for a way out when I caught sight of his belt. But I couldn't. I wasn't strong like Thom, Mags, or Finnick.

'Hold on, Annie.' The words ran through my mind and I couldn't give up. I had to try, so I grabbed onto the handle of the knife in his belt and pulled it out before he could regain his thoughts and plunged it into his stomach. With a gasp and surprised look he released and I didn't even think as I dropped to my feet and started running, even as the earthquake continued. Chancing a look over my shoulder I saw just as the dam broke.

Wide eyed, I looked to the tree tops in order to find the tallest one and rushed to it, grabbing the lowest branch, hoisting myself up but it was too late. As I reached the middle of the tree the water rushed in. Taking in a gulp of air I tumbled with the will of the water, washing me out of the tree. I didn't know where the others had gone and couldn't care as I struggled to move against the rush of the water and up to the surface.

The pack weighed me down and pushed against the water unlike my sleek clothing so I struggled out of it, letting it go before continuing up and taking in a gasp of water as I emerged. Looking around wildly, I could see tree tops emerging from the continual flow of water and quickly half swam, but mostly flowed with the current towards one. Gripping onto it with my hands, I swung my legs around and just hung there but the water kept rising as a canons started firing.

"1…2…3…4…5…" I counted of the consecutive fire, most likely from the second bloodbath. There we seven of us left, six more to die and then it would be over. I just had to hold on for six more and then I could go home. I just had to do what Finnick told me to and then it would all be over.

Soon the water was up to high that I had to let go of the tree and had to start treading water which wasn't a feat, having basically grown up in it but evidentially it had been for some as two more canon shots rang out.

"Hold on, Annie," I whispered to myself as I continue to tread water which had turned the arena into a large sea with remnants of tree tops poking out, but mostly us. All are too concerned with trying to keep their head above the currents which are still pulling me to the other side. Truthfully I didn't know how long it had been since the dam had broken but as I looked up I could see that water was still pouring out of it. Softly, I repeat Finnick's note to myself as canon's continue to fire and I felt my strength, which was minimal after five weeks in the forest, dwindle as the sun set.

With the sun down the temperature dropped more than it had the whole time and even though I wanted so badly to try and float I knew that I would get even colder if I exposed myself to that much air. So, instead I struggled to get off my jacket, tying off the hands and up the front before filling it with a bit of air. It was a trick that was taught to us at an early age in District 4, a makeshift buoy and I knew that it probably wouldn't last the night, but it gave enough for me to rest for a bit.

Then just as the sun started to come up, solving the added problem of it being almost pitch black I heard another canon shot echo over the arena. Looking around the arena, I looked for the hovercraft and watched as it moved in not far from where I was at and watched as the body lifted up into it and it moved way just leaving the two of us: the girl from district 1 and me which made sense, since District one was on the coast. Looking around, I struggled to see where she was in order to stay as far away from her as possible when I felt my thigh erupt in pain. Instinctively I stopped moving and dropped down with the undertow and gripped onto my thigh as blood oozed from it. Trying to push back up to the surface I struggled to take in a breath when all of a sudden hands pushed down on my shoulders. Taking in a mixture of air and water I moved down and grabbed onto the hands. Flipping both of us around, I open my eyes to watch her as she went under the water with me and saw that she had somehow made a snorkel of odds and ends.

This was it; she was going to kill me if I didn't kill her. Grabbing onto the tube, I yanked it out of her mouth and scrambled back under the water but she quickly righted herself and moved after me. Kicking up to the surface, I took in a full gasp of air and then moved back under continuing to scramble back while keeping an eye on her, hoping that I could outlast her on the lung capacity, after all I've been diving for fish since I was five. Thankfully it worked and as she moved up I surged forward with a kick and clumsily grabbed for the knife in her hand. Instantly she started fighting back, igniting the battle underwater for the weapon. My lungs were starved for oxygen and in a move to both get her away and get to the surface, I gripped onto the knife handle and blade—not even paying attention to the pain—and pulled up my feet before stamping them on her stomach. From the force she tumbled back, releasing her hold and I kicked up to the surface. Taking in a gasp, I suddenly felt a pull on my ankle and in the same motion brought up the knife and lunged towards her plunging the knife into the first solid mass which just happened to be the top over her head.

Wide eyed I scrambled back as a mixture of her and my blood mingled together in the water and lifelessly she moved with the current, further away. Kicking away I surfaced and just started swimming away, ignoring the pain in my thigh and hand when next thing I knew a canon echoed and I heard Claudius Templesmith's voice. "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am pleased to present the victor of the Seventh Hunger Games, Annie Cresta! I give you the tribute of District Four!" I could hear the crowd from the Capitol cheering over the speakers as a hovercraft materialized.

The ladder lowered into the water and quickly I grabbed onto it, the electric current locking me in place as I rose up. As the door closed behind me and current released, instantly the exhaustion of the sleepless, nightmare filled nights and swimming constantly took its toll and I just let go of everything I had been holding in and dropped to the ground.


	2. Recap of the Games

For the first time in a long time I found myself coming out of sleep peacefully and without a single memory of what I had been dreaming about, if anything. Slowly I flipped open my eyes to find myself not in the hole in a tree but an actual bed, complete with a vase of yellow peonies on the side table. Propping myself up on my elbow, I ignored the tug of a line that was dripping liquid into my veins and reached out touching them. They were my favorite flower, ever since I was little, but we didn't get them in district 4 very often. Slipping my legs out from under the covers, and over the bed, I moved to sit up, bringing the line of whatever it was with me. Pieces of my brown hair fell over my shoulder and I brought up my hand, running it threw my now silky smooth locks and noticed the my legs were nice and smooth also, including where the large gash of the knife had been, meaning that I had already been buffed and primped. Dropping my hand, I looked around the dimmed room which also meant I must be in the training center. Just then I caught something out of the corner of my eye and jerked my head over to see my clothing from the arena.

A bubble of laughter broke from my lips as I looked to them, it amazed that they just seemed to follow me. I was never going to be able to get away from those clothes, the way the seemed to stick to my skin as I ran for my life, or how they provided no warmth what so ever in the water. But most of all how splatters of blood just seeped through them and onto your skin. Instantly my laughter died as I paused and looked across the room as a green tint took over the room and my mind wondered to the arena. I could almost smell it: the moss, the dirt, the rotting wood.

"Annie," a voice brought me back and I blinked my eyes to see Finnick standing in front of me with worried eyes. Looking over to the side I saw an Avox girl with a tray of food and a wide eyed look. "Annie, don't you want something to eat?" I couldn't find the words to speak and just slid back into bed waiting as she moved forward and placed the tray in front of me. She cautioned a look to the handsome man standing beside me, after all few could resist and then left. "I'm not supposed to be in here but after you didn't respond she came to get someone. Been sitting here for an hour," He smiled softly, but understandingly as he pulled up the extra chair in the room.

"Oh," I murmured softly, unknowingly and then moved to take a bite of the broth and chopped peaches in front of me.

"Been back for a day though, after they healed your injuries you just went to sleep," he continued, not seeming to be bothered by my small response which I was grateful for. "I can understand that, wasn't so long ago that I was here which is mostly why I came in, Annie."

I had seen Finnick serious, as he mentored and I had seen him in his flirty demeanor and as a killer on the TV but this was something different; now he looked to me in sadness.

"You're going to have to go up on that stage and relive it all, and it's not going to be pleasant. They'll show you the kills, Silver and Diamond," he named the male and female from District 1 that I had caused to die. "And they will especially show Thom." As soon as the name left his mouth the images filled my mind and I dropped the spoon. Reaching up, I clamped my hands over my ears to stop the sounds that filled them from the arena as I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to block it all out. "Hey, hey," Finnick's voice echoed through my hands and I felt him place his hands over and it seemed to instantly bring me back. Slowly I flipped my eyes open, looking to his caring sea green eyes. "Annie, it's all over now," he soothed and pulled my hands down so they were back on the tray. "Remember that. Remember when they show you those things."

"Will you be there?" I whispered, unable to find full strength in my voice.

"I will," he gave a reassuring smile. "All of us: me, Mags, Auricula, and Crucis," he answered, naming my stylist and escort also. I gave a nod and moved back to my broth which I found was hard to get down. "Alright, well I better get out of here before they catch me in here."

"Thank you, Finnick," I whispered and he gave me a dazzling smile and nod.

"Hey, I'm your mentor right," he said and moved out.

All too soon someone moved in and took away the almost empty tray and the needle was pulled out my arm, then I had to change back into my clothing in order to greet my support system so it would look like I hadn't even needed this time to recuperate. I just went numb as I slipped into the clothing, but felt something in my pants as I pulled them up, and slipped my hand into the pocket.

"Hold on, Annie," I murmured to myself as I clenched the note in my hands, but now it seemed to mean so much more. Now I didn't need to hold onto my life, but myself. I needed to try and keep the Annie Cresta I had been going into this alive. Taking a deep breath, I stepped up to the door and everything must have been ready for the cameras because it rose up. Without wasting time I just started down the hallway, the only way I could go, and towards the room where I knew they all would be waiting for me. I just wanted to get this all over with so I could go home and try to forget, sleeping away the days.

Finally I saw them all there with smiles on their faces. Auricula, with her signature pale orange sleek hair pulled back into a high ponytail, and Crucis, with his golden tattooed stars curving around the side of his face, had wide and happy grins. They were excited of course to have a winner under their belts which I couldn't blame them for, and they were nice people. Then there was Mags, who had a small happy smile, but it was different from Auricula and Crucis, there was more behind it, and I think it was understanding. Last my eyes set on Finnick who gave a wide but still almost cautious smile which he broadened with purpose and I understood that he wanted me to smile, also. Taking in a breath, I instantly quirked my lips up to a smile and stepped towards them. Moving to Auricula and Crucis first, we shared hugs saying how they knew that I could do it then I moved to Mags.

Bending down slightly to cover the height difference I found that I didn't need to fake the smile anymore and got a true one as she mumbled out a, "good job."

"Thank you," I whispered to her and we pulled apart as I moved to Finnick. Slipping into his happy, friendly self, as he always had been with me, he pulled me into a tight hug but he showed that he wasn't even near that as he whispered into my ear. "Just smile and it will all be over soon," he encouraged and I nodded slightly and pulled back.

"Come on, Annie," Auricula motioned. "Time to make you glorious for the camera." Her wide smile broadened, stretching her bright pink and purple lips tight. I grinned once again as I followed behind her away from the cameras and down the passages to an elevator where her smile dropped a little bit and I started to think that possibly all in that room were putting on a show. "So I have a wonderful dress picked out," She assured but didn't say another thing as we continued up and up into the center. The team instantly greeted me once again and started talking but my nods and one word answers seemed to put them off of asking any more questions. So, as they ate and then got to work I was left to my silence.

I just felt like I needed to save everything until I was on stage; I needed to save the act until getting on stage and even then I was sure it wasn't going to work. They didn't seem to mind as I just stared ahead either, just going about painting teal colored waves on my shaped clean nails and was slipped into the light teal asymmetrical dress. It was honestly the most beautiful dress that I had ever gotten the chance to wear, made of layer upon layer of sheer fabric in the main sections and was cinched around the waist with a golden sash that wound around and then up across my chest into the one-shoulder design. But even while acknowledging that I just couldn't seem to appreciate it.

Instead I found myself looking to the skinny girl in the mirror as she stared back at me, she was done up to look like an water goddess almost with flowing curls, and fabric down to her shining shoes but it just made it harder to try and keep that Annie Cresta alive. I could see what Auricula is trying to do though with how I had won; If that arena hadn't ever flooded then I most likely wouldn't have won.

We moved along and back into the tributes elevator down, where we had trained and they all quickly moved off to dress themselves for their appearance. Looking up to where I would rise up for the three hour retelling of the worst moments in my life I could hear and feel the crowd which were so excited to see this girl that hadn't wanted any of this.

"Hold on, Annie," I whispered to myself and closed my eyes, blocking out everything as I repeated the mantra silently to myself. Then out of nowhere I felt someone touch my shoulder but didn't freak out because somehow I knew who it was: Finnick. Slowly, opening my eyes I looked to see him and Mags, both also made up in fine clothing.

"Ready?" he asked hesitantly and I nodded slightly just as the team, Auricula and Crucis entered and the anthem started to boom springing me back to the arena. Looking ahead it was like I was transported back to the arena, standing on that platform and looking straight at the cornucopia but a tight grip on my shoulder sprung me back to reality, blinking away the arena, and I just caught sight of Crucis as he rose up on the platform, having missed the prep team and Auricula. The crowd cheered for him and then Mags stepped up on the platform giving me a grin and I gave a true one back as she moved up and the cheering increased for one of the first victors. It was only then that Finnick had to go and released the grip slowly before stepping forward.

He looked natural, his handsomeness coming through brilliantly, like he was made for this and I tried to trap that image in my head in order to copy it as he rose up. The crowd, especially the woman, filled the area with screams, stomping, and applause as Caesar Flickerman announced him. The rumbles under my feet threatened me, working to bring me to a place I didn't want to go but I repeated the words that I held onto so much in the last few days and took a step forward onto the metal circle. After a few minutes once the cheering had died down considerably I started to rise.

I tried to imagine I was Finnick, taking in the spotlight that blinded me and putting on a bright smile as the people cheer for me. Surprisingly it seems just as enthusiastic as Finnick's had been, people stomping, shouting, and cheering for this water goddess in front of them. Over to the side I saw the others sitting and caught yet another cue from Finnick as he raised his hand slightly from his knee, waggling his fingers and I took it, raising my hand up and waving to the crowd as I moved forward to the throne meant for the victor. But I couldn't for the life of me find my voice which Caesar Flickerman seemed to note and just worked around my nods with a few jokes before it all started.

The lights dimmed and I gripped onto the chair's arms as the seal appeared on the screen. The worst part was I couldn't just look away and had to try to block out the sound because they would constantly be looking to me, showing that little tiny square in the corner of the screen. The first part helps though, after I closed my eyes and block out District 4's reaping and Thom volunteering, but then I tried to tap into the Annie that I watched on the screen; she was smiling, and laughing along with Caesar Flickerman, albeit a little nervously but still there. She spoke of the things I wanted to see and do again; tying knots to make a net, stringing a line for fishing on the beach. Then it started, detailing the flip in full from the Annie that used to be, to the one that I was now.

Almost as if a magnet drawing me to him I looked over to Finnick who had also drawn his attention from the screen as well and was looking to me. I lock my eyes on him blocking out seeing it, but I could still hear it. The gurgle of blood, the screaming and I knew what was happening. I kept my eyes locked on Finnick though, straight faced and almost numb, because he kept his on me. Finally it was over and they move onto the flipping between shots of everything else going on and then me hiding, but they seemed to have almost flipped my hiding into conserving energy, a strategic plan like some had done in previous games. Then it all changes with that gift and the earthquake. The audience gasps when the tree falls in front of me, as I run through the forest. They quake and shout as Silver comes up behind me and grips me by the hair and then they cheer as I plunge the knife into Diamond's head as I just stare blankly at the screen. Then it all ends with a shot of me, in the water, surrounded by blood as I'm announced the winner.

Giving another look to Finnick he puts on another broad smile and I copied it as the anthem begun to play again and we all rose as President Snow moved up on stage followed by a small boy with a cushion in his hands. With a smile he takes the crown and the signature smell of roses and a smell that I wasn't able to place until now fills my nose: blood. I held onto the smile as he placed it on my head, completing the image of the water goddess as the crowd erupted for their top murderer.


	3. Interview

After the recounting of the most horrible time in my life I had to sit through a dinner, and partake in millions of conversations as I tried to hide my true self. But Finnick served as almost a savior as he had been throughout this whole thing for some reason. He stuck close to my side and took up the conversation when I drifted off which I only noticed once his hand would go to my shoulder. Then finally I was allowed to go back to the room of my apartment just as the sun started to rise, escorted by Auricula in order to help me get undressed.

"Such beautiful flowers," she murmured as she unzipped the back of my dress and I looked to the nightstand to see the vase of peonies had been transferred here.

"They're my favorite type," I answered with a true smile and pulled off my shoes.

"So that's why he picked them," She smiled with a knowing nod and I looked to her curiously. "Finnick, he had them put them in your room."

"Oh," I murmured with a small grin and slipped into the long silk, tank top, night shirt with the loose knee length pants. It was then that she started pulling my hair in all different directions in preparation for the style that they had in mind for the next day, along with showing me the outfit for the dreaded interview: a knee length, ivy green, strapless dress and a pair of gold high heels.

Soon she left me to my own devices for the first time since early yesterday and I realized that the silence that I had wished for was something that I didn't want. In the silence I was left to myself, and was transported right back to being by myself in the arena. Pulling on the knee length robe, I tied it around myself and slipped on the flat shoes before heading to the door. It slid up and I moved out having a destination in mind of the roof. There I could let everything show because there was no cameras and I hoped that the murmurs of the city would help me sleep. But as I walked out, I was met with silence.

Crossing my arms over my chest I just looked down to the streets that were only moments ago thriving with celebrating people as I leaned against the railing. A chilly wind had picked up since the last time I was outside, helping to numb everything and I breathed in deeply, hoping to numb the inside also but it didn't exactly work and I just crouched down.

"Go away, go away, go away," I begged the memories as I covered my ears. Squeezing my eyes shut, I tipped my head down onto my knees hoping that the tighter, the smaller, I got that maybe the memories would become too tightly packed and would just drift away with the wind.

"Annie, hey," hands gripped onto my shoulders and I flipped open my eyes to see a worried Finnick crouching down in front of me. "Hey," he smiled slightly, slowly pulling my hands away from my ears, "it's alright."

"I keep seeing them," I whispered. "All of them. Does it ever stop?" I pleaded silently from him to say yes; to give me that bit of hope that it would but I could see on his face that it wouldn't.

"It gets better," He answered and then fell back onto the rocky roof top, sitting in front of me. Mimicking the positioned I smoothed down the back of my robe and sat down folding my legs up to my chest.

"Thank you for helping me through this," I whispered after a moment of silence. "Ever since I got back you've been helping me."

"I know what you're going through," He smiled slightly. "I understand how hard it is, and while Mags does too it's been quite a while," He joked slightly and I surprisingly let out a small giggle but it shut off as I started thinking about what it was going to be like to go home without his help. "Annie," he called me back and I blinked back to his eyes. "Where do you go when you do that?"

"What?" I murmured.

"You just look at a spot, zone out. You just look so intense that I can't help but wonder where you go." He shrugged and I frowned slightly.

"My mind, I suppose," I whispered and licked over my lips as I rested my chin on my knees.

"What were you thinking about?" He continued curiously but I could hear the caution in his voice.

"I was wondering what I was going to do when I get home and you're not there," I answered as I picked up a rock and started fiddling with it. Out of the corner of my eye though I saw him smile slightly and he reached forward taking my hand.

"Mags was there for me, and I'll be there for you. After all we're going to be neighbors," He grinned, making me smile as well which turned into a yawn. "Why don't we head to bed?"

"I can't," I frowned, continuing to play with the rock.

"Right," he nodded in understanding then patted the ground beside him. Biting my lip softly I swiveled around to sit beside him and looked out to the rising sun.

"Why did you come up here?" I murmured.

"Couldn't sleep either and this is where I normally come after getting in late," He answered and I didn't need to question what he meant by that. Everyone would have known what he meant by that, being the playboy that he was.

"How hard is it going to be tomorrow?" I frowned, tossing the rock over to the side.

"Hard," He answered and I closed my eyes, wishing more than ever this was over. "But just a couple questions and then it will all be over," he continued and I didn't know if it was just exhaustion, because I felt so comfortable around him, or the mixture of the two but I leaned my head over on his shoulder. Shifting his arm around, he rubbed my shoulder comfortingly before leaning back slightly as we watched the sun come up.

oOo

"Up, up, up," Crucis's happy voice pulled me from sleep once more and I moved up, finding myself back in my bedroom which was weird since the last thing I could remember was sitting on the roof with Finnick. "Big day," He continued and before I hardly had time to think I was shuffled down to the empty dining area, basically being force fed a hot bowl of porridge and the prep team took his spot. The same routine as the day before took place with me being allowed my silence and them rattling away as they did my hair, which was wound up with a couple intricately woven braids and then few soft curls to frame my face, but my makeup was far more natural. I constantly stifled yawns, which they commented on, saying I should have slept more but it all ended as Auricula entered and shuffleed them out in order to get me in my dress.

Once Iwas primped and prepped I didn't even have time before I was shuffled into the interview feeling more anxious than I had since leaving the arena because I hadn't had the chance to talk to Finnick. The sitting room, was as it normally was; cleared of all furniture except for two chairs and flowers which this year just happened to be lovely lilacs that we got a lot of in District 4. One thing that did ease me slightly was that there wasn't a thundering crowd, just a few cameras to record the event that everyone would be forced to watch.

I imagined the cue from Finnick and put on a charming smile as I greeted Caesar Flickerman with a hug. "Congratulations, Annie. How are you faring?"

"Good," I answered with a nod but nothing more seemed to want to come out as we sat down in the chairs. Crossing my legs, I fiddled and did exactly what Auricula told me to do; making sure to smooth out her fine work so it laid softly across my legs while the camera man started to count down, then far before I was ready we were live.

"Here she is everyone," Caesar spoke to the camera as if it had been the live audience, "your victor for the 70th Hunger Games, Annie Cresta." I smiled to him and to the camera, still taking mental cues. "So how does it feel, Annie?"

I paused searching for my voice as I ran through the potential replies which wouldn't be suitable at all before finding one. "Unreal," I answered softly and saw him waiting for more. "I don't think it's going to really sink in until I get home."

"I can only imagine," he answered. "But it looks like you're adapting to it wonderfully," he smiled and gestured over my outfit and I wanted to say not really but just nodded.

"Well, thank you. I'm trying to," I smiled.

"Right," he grinned, his bright purple lips stretching tight. "Let's get to the games. Now you got to the cornucopia very fast. The first one, and you seemed to have an alliance with District 1 and 2 but it all seemed to change then. Tell us what happened?"

I felt it happening, I could the camera zooming in on me as I looked to the ground and saw grass poking up through the floor boards, but I had to get through this. "Thom," I whispered out and hope that it's audible so I won't have to return it.

"You're district partner, Thom. We're you two close," Caesar continues and for some reason it kicks me out of the place I'm travelling to and back to the beach all of us kids would play on.

"We grew up together," I forced out a sad smile and thankfully he seems to understand that he's not about to get anything good out of me concerning Thom.

"I would imagine that's where you learned all your fishing skills," He smiled, "they are quite amazing. I dare say we haven't seen skills like that since Finnick Odair was in the games."

"Well, it's what we grow up doing. If you can't make a net or string a hook in District 4 you're not going to make very much money," I attempted a joke, something I imagined Finnick doing but instead of his charming tone mine came out almost breathy and nervous.

"I guess that's true," he covered it up with his own charming laughs. "But back to the alliances. Don't you think you would have done better if you would have stuck with them? It looked like you were having a tough time out there all by yourself."

I paused, thinking it over. Would I have done better if I hadn't run away? Surely not, of course, but I knew what he was talking about. Even I was a little surprised with how I looked on that screen during the recap. "No, I think that what kept me alive was going off alone."

"What was going through your mind while you were out there?" he asked softly, leaning towards me slightly and I flicked my eyes up to him, then to the camera before looking back at the floor.

"What goes on in any tributes mind?" I almost wondered to myself. "My life, my family, my friends, my home and how much I wanted to see it all again."

"Well, you're almost there Annie," he almost encouraged. "But I have to ask the one thing that all of us are wondering." I looked up to him, waiting. "What was it that you kept repeating to yourself while you were in the water?" I nodded slightly understanding it because it had always been to quiet to be heard in the camera.

"Hold on, Annie," I answered, glancing to the camera in hopes that it was something that Finnick would do. "I just kept telling myself to hold on."

"Well it worked," He smiled and then like that it was over as he signed off. "Great job, Annie," he spoke pulling me into another hug which I returned halfheartedly. I couldn't imagine that I had been his best interview, but it was over. Yet again I barely had time to breathe as I was taken back to my room to gather my things, but I didn't have much. All I really had to take was the note which had been sitting on my bed stand and a few other necessities then I moved out, ready to leave the apartment and for the first time I saw Mags, but not Finnick.

"Where is he?" I asked her quietly as we moved to the car with the tinted windows.

"Train," she mumbled out and I frowned slightly but nodded. As we stepped out I barely got to say a goodbye to Auricula as both Mags and Crucis rushed me onto the train and just seconds later it took off, leaving the capitol.


	4. Delusions on the Train

_Hey everyone, let me know what you think by a review or even just a click of that story alert or fav button because if you don't show interest, i'm going to lose interest and that means less updates. So pretty please, even if it's one word give me an idea of what you think about this story...good or bad. Thank You._

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The train was plunged into darkness as I moved towards the dining area with Mags and Crucis for Dinner but as we emerged I found that I wasn't nearly hungry. In fact as we emerged on the other side of the tunnel I felt this overwhelming sense of being free but also crushed. It was like as I exited the capitol my mind just gave up on fighting what I had been trying to trap and get rid of and I began to hear the twitter of birds.

"I'm going to go change first," I murmured and didn't even wait for them to respond before starting back to my room which was no doubt the same as before. Moving in I scanned through the closet which Auricula had stocked with nice comfortable clothing and I quickly slipped out of my shoes and the dress before pulling on a pair of shorts and a blouse. Stepping into the bathrooms I looked to the mirror and found myself staring back at me, but greenery surrounded me. Pausing, I moved to reach out to the faucet of the sink that I knew was in front of me but felt the rough grain of wood instead of the smooth cold marble I should have. Brushing my fingers over it, I glanced around to find myself in the woods.

Letting out a shaking breath I felt tears start to sting my eyes and stepped forward in between two trees and reached out to where the closet had been just moments before only to touch a the branches of a willow. With shaking hands I looked down and saw that I hadn't in fact changed, I was in the same clothes as I had been for the past three weeks. It was a dream. I didn't make it out; I had just imagined it all. I had imagined the flood—something I knew I could overcome—and imagined getting out, being able to live. I had imagined Finnick.

Reaching up I tangled my fingers in my hair and dropped to the ground. Looking ahead of me I spotted my hole in the tree and crawled into it, tucking my legs up to my chest. It all looked so real. I was so stupid for thinking that I could make it out. Tipping my head down I let out the silent tears, not wanting the cameras to see as I just covered my ears wanting to just melt away. Falling over to the side slightly, I leaned against the rough wood and slid back running my fingers over it once more and dug my fingernails into it. Sniffling, I squeezed my eyes shut and attempted to get some sleep, hoping that I could just drift away from it.

Suddenly a hand grabbed me and knowing that someone had found me I let out a scream, fighting against whoever it was. "Annie!" I looked up and saw Silver with that menacing grin as he pulled me out of my hiding spot. Gripping onto my shoulders, he literally picked me up and threw me onto a log as I continued to kick and scream, beating against his chest. "Annie!" He shouted and I looked up to see Finnick this time and I was on the train and quickly squeezed my eyes shut.

"No, no, no, it's not real," I cried softly and heard the crunch of the leaves and smell of the forest come back.

"Annie, I'm real. You're out of there," Finnick continued and slowly I opened my eyes to find myself transported back to the train in the normal clothing, lying in a bed with him kneeling beside me. I had fallen asleep and emerged in the dream again. Squeezing my eyes shut again, I rolled over to the side, facing the wall as I pulled my knees up to my chest, letting the tears run onto the soft covers. I heard him let out a sigh and felt him sit down on the side of the bed as I just looked to the painted wall in front of me.

I didn't want to close my eyes because even if this was a dream it was far better than where I really was. There I was alone, cold, and hungry, here I was none of those things. Maybe if I just stayed here I would just die happily back there and could stay here forever with mom, dad, Mags, and Finnick.

"You're wrong," I whispered after a while and felt him jump slightly, as if startled.

"About what?" he questioned softly.

"This is all a dream. You're a dream, Mags, Crucis…I'm still in the forest," I spoke. "I'm just sleeping."

I felt him shift and glanced over to see him looking at me but surprisingly the once sunlit room was now only lit with a lamp to the side. Unsurely he looked over me and around the room before catching sight of something and reached forward to grab the dirty and worn piece of paper from all it had been through. "Hold on, Annie," He unfolded it and held it out to me. "I wrote this to you and sent it with the stew. Remember that?"

"In my dream, yes," I murmured unsurely.

"How do you want me to prove it to you, Annie? How do you want me to prove that this is real?" He asked.

Chewing on the inside of my lip, I moved to sit up and looked to him as I leaned back against the wall and realized that I couldn't think of anything. My mind could reasonably rationalize anything and that scared me more than anything. "I don't know," I whispered as my eyes stung with tears.

Reaching forward he gave me a sad smile which looked so out of place on his handsome face, and took either side of my face, making me look into his sad eyes. "I'm real, Annie. I'm sitting right here in front of you on your bed and I know that it might be a dream to most women in Panem, but this is real," He joked and I let out a small half grin. "You trusted me with your life in the games, and you have to trust me now."

"Okay," I breathed out and nodded slightly. With a smile he dropped his hands scooting back as I stayed curled up against the wall. "Finnick," I murmured and he looked over to me. "What time is it?"

"About one, we'll be back home in six hours," he answered and I frowned because somehow six hours had disappeared. "Are you hungry?" He looked to me and I gave a small nod. Standing up, he extended a hand and taking it I stood up, and stepped off the bed as we started towards the dining car silently. "Here," he led me around to the couch, "I'll go get some leftovers from the kitchen."

Nodding once again, I sat down on and turned to the screen in front of me. Picking up the remote, I flipped it on to see that they were showing a recap of my interview from earlier. Curling one of my feet up under me I looked to the girl which seemed so far away from the one I was now. And then there was another that they were expecting at home: all my friends and family. It was like there were three Annie's now, and I wasn't sure I liked the one I was now at all, I wanted to be the one that I used to be, the one that was most familiar but I knew I could never truly be.

"You did really well," Finnick's voice brought me out of my thoughts and I turned to see him walking in with two bowls of something and a bowl of cut up fruit. "Sorry, I couldn't make it. I had a something to finish up before leaving the capitol." I nodded in understanding as he sat down beside me, but couldn't help and wonder if that was a someone instead of a something. "I remembered that you liked the pumpkin soup from when we were coming over here."

"Thank you," I murmured and gave a small smile as I took the warm bowl. "Didn't you eat earlier," I gestured to his own bowl.

"Are you saying that I look fat?" He joked. I just gave a small eye roll and smile before taking a bite. "No, I didn't," He shrugged.

"Why not?" I frowned, having a feeling that I knew the answer.

"I was busy watching out for a friend," He answered and my frown grew as I looked down.

"I'm sorry for hitting you," I apologized, knowing that I had been beating and kicking him because of things.

"I can take it," He shrugged it off as I looked to him out of the corner of my eye, biting the inside of my lip. I wanted to say something to him, but I had no clue what to say that I hadn't already said, so I just settled for taking a bite of my soup. We ate the rest of our dinner in silence, I wasn't really listening to the interview, but I liked both the company and the sound. It was harder to slip in and out of whatever reality was.

Then we were both done and I still didn't know what to do. I wasn't about to go back into that room. I didn't even want to go to sleep because I knew that if I did I would wake up back in that forest. Just then Finnick started scooting down on the couch, "well I'm certainly not walking all the way back there," he smiled to me and propped a pillow behind his head. Smiling slightly I scooted down as well and put the throw pillow against the high arm of the couch, closing my eyes. "Night, Annie," he spoke and I felt a blanket drape over me before the couch shifted again with him getting comfortable.

"Night, Finnick," I murmured, pulling the blanket tight around me.


	5. New Home

The Annie from the camera moved forward as the District welcomed us back, but I had found it hard to do now that I was off the camera and I knew that they, President Snow, wasn't watching. Now I found myself moving into a new house.

In District 4 all twelve of the Victor's Houses were set along a beautiful stretch of beach and usually up wind from the main docks so the fishy smell wouldn't reach you. Throughout the years fifteen victors had lived here; now with them dying from various things it just left six of us. The first that had moved in was Mags. Then a few years after her was the victor of the 22nd, an older man named Pete who spent all of his time locked up in his house and only emerged for the yearly reaping. Years later there was Alice, the victor of the 58th games, and a widowed mother whose oldest was going to have to enter the games next year. Then there was Ruben, who had won the 63rd games; one of the most brutal games yet where the contestants where just given maces to defend themselves and came out with the battle wounds to prove it, including having lost an eye and a permanent and very prominent limp.

Outside all the games appeared to be a fantastic thing that would bring you riches, and glory but as I looked around to the gathered crowd as we stepped up to the house I couldn't find the joy that my mother and father seemed to have. They seemed to be overjoyed to be able to move into a house that was much larger and more luxurious than our simple place by the beach which I had always found nice.

Moving up the stone path that wove through the front lawn—which was covered in different flowers and a green lawn and was shaded with a large tree—I stepped up to the carved wooden door of the white stucco and red tile roofed house. Our few things that could be brought in already were including our clothing and family photos. There was no need to bring in the furniture because the whole house was already furnished.

I reached out; brushing my hand over the crisp white wall of the entryway and down to run across the wooden table set off to the side that held an artistic sculpture, as I continued into the main room. I heard the slow footsteps and murmurs of my parents behind me as they looked around, but I focused on the main living area as I walked in. It was open, with a large sectional dark green couch curving across the light wooden floor, and facing a whole wall of matching closed wooden cabinets and a fireplace with a low dark wood table set in between. Then to the back of the couch, opposite and adjacent of the cabinets were three large windows which looked out to the patio and beyond that the ocean.

Tilting my head to the side, I let out a small smile as I brushed my hand over the black spiral staircase and through the wide archway to the left and entered a beautiful kitchen that mom was sure to love and had brown and gold granite countertops along with the same light wooden cabinets. Moving around the island, I pushed open the French doors to the patio, letting in the sound of the rolling waves.

"Oh wow," Mom thrilled as she moved out behind me.

"Let's leave Annie to look at her room," Dad said with a smile as they started back into the main room, continuing through the matching archway to the back of the house where there was three more bedrooms—including mom and dad's, which was the second largest—two bathrooms, one of which was in their bedroom, and an office. Stepping back into the house I moved back around to the staircase and started up to where my apartment was.

The stairway opened up into a large sitting room, consisting of a large white arm chair, matching couch, and television on a stand over to the side. The whole room had plush white carpeting blanketing it and large doors to the front wall which looked out not only to the ocean but its own balcony. Then to the back of the sitting area was an office area, complete with the latest gadgets. Doing the exact same as the downstairs door I moved forwards and opened the sliding door. Stepping out, I took in a breath of fresh air and turned to the right coming to the doors into my bedroom. Pushing open the doors, I brushed the gauzy white curtains out of the way coming into a room white light grey walls that had a dark grey silhouetted tree whose leaves appeared to be blowing of and floating around the entire square room with a breeze. To the right was a large, white, open canopy bed, then to the back where there was the large bathroom and equally as large closet.

Overall the house was perfect but it was yet another new thing that made it hard for me to hold onto this idea that everything was real. Moving over to the vanity that appeared to have every possible beauty item I could need I moved my fingers over them, trying to soak it in before pulling open the wooden door that led back out to the sitting area. I could hear Mom and Dad continuing to explore downstairs but moved over to the couch, and sat down. Kicking off my sandals, I pulled the soft woven blanket—which I had gotten when I was just a baby and had forced them to bring—off the back, pulling it over me as I curled up and laid down.

It was funny but I already was tired again though I seemed to of had a good night's rest. Once again I found myself in my bed when I woke up instead of with Finnick and guessed that he had just brought me back to my room.

"Hey, Annie," A voice spoke and I turned to the side to see someone that scared me beyond belief: Thom. It wasn't the Thom I wanted to remember though, this one was in his arena uniform with blood dripping down on his neck and staining the white carpet. "Looks like you've made it, huh," He grinned showing his stained red teeth and causing blood to dribble out of the corner of his mouth, making bright red spots on the plush white carpet.

"You're not here, you're not real," I whispered to myself and quickly squeezed my eyes shut, covering my ears.

"Come on, Annie. That hurts me," I felt the couch shift. "You've got a nice view here, though. Remember when all of us were little and imagined what it would be like in these houses? Come on, Annie. Talk to me."

"Just leave me alone!" I shouted and threw off the blanket before racing out of the room, down the stairs.

"Annie!" I heard my father shout after me but just burst past. I needed to get out of there. I needed to go somewhere that I could hang onto, something that was familiar and that was the beach. Running down the path, I rushed down the steps and tore out onto it. Letting out a sigh, I actually relished in the feeling of the sand burning the soles of my feet, something that I used to hate and would just race across. Taking in a deep breath, I tipped back my head and just closed my eyes taking in the smell, the sound, the feel of the familiar.

Letting out the breath I just crouched down and fell back into a sit, looking out to the water but now even when I was this close I could feel it coming on, the arena. I could hear the crack of the dam, the rush of water, the pressure of the current threatening to pull me under. They had done this to me, they had turned me into this and I hated them for it even more than I had before the games. I wonder what they would have done of everyone had just died in the first wave, just a sweep and everyone goes under. I let out a bubble of laughter as I imagined their panic. They'd probably find one of them under the water and bring them back just like their stupid mutts.

I just didn't understand what the joy of winning was though, where was the glory they always talked about and celebrated. I didn't get how this was supposed to be a good thing. Then again I used to envy them. Being able to live in the Victor's Village, having more money than what you knew to do with and never having to work again. I used to envy the winners, but not what they had to go through to get there. I never wanted that, I never wanted to volunteer like so many did. But here I was and I'd never get back. I had gotten something that I had envied and now I didn't want it. At the irony I let out another laugh.

"Annie!" A shout brought me back along with someone gripping my shoulders and shaking me. I blinked up to my mother who was just staring down at me with this scared look in her eye.

"Yes?" I questioned in confusion.

"I've been shouting at you for the past ten minutes," She gasped out in relief.

"Oh," I murmured, "sorry. What is it?"

She looked at me in shock for a long moment, blinking. "You've been sitting out here for an hour; I thought you'd want something to drink." She answered a little meekly.

"No, I'm fine, thank you," I gave her a small smile trying to ease the look she was giving me, but it only seemed to make it worse.

"Are you alright, Annie?" She asked nervously.

"I'm fine, Mom," I answered softly and as she pulled back slightly I looked back out to the ocean.


	6. This Is Real

_Pulling in a gasp of air, I gripped the edge of the platform the cornucopia was on and pulled myself up. The others, the Careers, were right behind me pulling themselves up too with half of us surveying the things we had gotten and the other half fending off the other districts. I wasn't so much concerned with them though, I was thinking of Thom who had promised to keep the others off of me. _

_Looking up I saw him fighting expertly, taking out the male tribute from district 11. He was so much stronger, so much more suited for these games than I was. Pulling up the bag, I slung it over my shoulders ready to tell him that I got it when and boy, I think he was from 7, ran up behind him. He moved in right as Thom turned to me and I watched as the sword came up and before I could even utter a syllable it was through Thom's neck. Blood splattered across my face, my neck, my chest, and his head dropped to the ground. I didn't know what to do as it seemed to go in slow motion, the knees buckling. My head screamed for me to reach out and catch his body but I couldn't in the matter of second as it fell to the ground right beside his head, the blood oozing out into the water, turning it bright_ _red._

With a gasp my eyes shot open and I looked around trying to find out where I was before remembering that I was in my new home. Breathing hard, I reached up wiping the sweat beaded on my forehead. Glancing over to the clock on the side table I saw that it was just after five in the morning, meaning that I had just gotten under three hours of sleep after forcing myself to actually going to bed and there was no way I was close to going back to sleep.

Flipping the blankets off my feet, I stepped out, moving into the bathroom to get a glass of water. I worked to avoid looking in the mirror but was unable to as I glanced up to see a worn girl with dark circles under her eyes, tangled hair which was wet with sweat and clammy pale skin. Reaching over, I grabbed one of the two towels on the rack and pulled it off before hanging it over the oval antique mirror. Taking the glass of water, I moved out and pulled my old blanket off the bed, then stepped out onto the balcony while wrapping it around myself. Sitting down in the rocking chair off to the side of the table set in front of the sliding glass door, I placed the glass on the small circular table and pulled one of my legs up as the other pushed me into a rock.

It was a bit cold out this early, but it just helped to bring me back to where I was. Just then out of the corner of my eye I caught a light on in the house over to the left of ours: Finnick's. The houses truly were far enough away that it was comfortable, with tall trees and plenty of foliage between them to separate the houses, but they were close enough to be a shout away meaning that I could see the shadow of someone moving around the upper level. Just then it flipped off and curiously I watched as the one below flipped on and then he emerged on his wooden deck wearing a pair of running shorts and sneakers before taking off down the steps and out onto the beach, running up towards the docks. Settling back into my chair, I continued rocking back and forth.

Slowly the dark sky started to turn yellow as the sun rose when a figure started running back across the beach. This time he turned to me though as I looked down to him. With furrowed brows, I watched as he raised his hand and motioned for me to come down. Having nothing else to do but sit here, I stood up and with the blanket still wrapped around me and in my pajamas consisting of a loose tank top and cropped pants, I quietly moved down the steps and out of the house. Bare foot, I padded down the stone path and the steps before stepping out onto the beach and moved towards him as he plopped down in the sand.

"Breakfast?" He questioned and help up the familiar fish shaped piece of bread.

"Thanks," I gave him a small smile as I sat down beside him and took the roll. "Do you do this every morning?" I asked before tearing off a piece of the bread and almost savoring the seaweed taste that I had missed so much.

"Most," he nodded, taking his own bite. "It became a way to take out my frustrations on everything." Giving a nod, I pulled off another piece popping it into my mouth. "So how long have you been up?"

"Only about an hour I suppose," I murmured.

"What time did you go to sleep?" He asked knowingly and I frowned slightly.

"Two," I sighed.

"Can't sleep without me there?" He attempted a joke, but it seemed that it was true, causing me to go silent. "Annie, I get it. I understand the nightmares. I think all of us do, so it's ok."

"I just keep seeing him, and hearing him," I whispered, looking out to the waves and watching them turn red. "All of them, all the blood…it's everywhere." I could feel his eyes on me, but just watched the waves start to bleed. "I remember everything…I remember too much." Looking over to him, I just stared into his sea green eyes which looked almost looked blue in the morning light. "I get confused, Finnick. I know you told me to trust you, but it's hard to know what's real anymore."

I saw the pain come to his eyes, but he spoke in the softest voice I'd ever heard him have. "We're real, Annie." Reaching up he took my hand and placed my fingers against his neck, right on the pulse point where I could feel it steadily beating. "This is real." Closing my eyes I kept my hand there, on his neck, as I raised my own to my pulse point. I just felt them beating against my fingertips and for a long time he stayed perfectly still allowing me to.

"Why are you trying so hard to keep me here, Finnick?" I asked softly as I opened my eyes and slowly lowered my hands.

He furrowed his brows briefly as he looked to me. "Because I know what they can do to you, the ghosts, and I don't want yet another of us to be broken by them. I remember you Annie, how you used to be and I don't want you to lose her."

"The peonies," I whispered and he nodded slightly.

"All of us have troubles, and I'm going to help you through yours," He said resolutely but then stood up, pulling off his shoes and socks. "Come swimming with me?" Holding out his hand to me I looked back to the waves which were no longer coated in red, but still I could feel it pressing in on me.

"I can't," I frowned slightly.

"I'm right here, nothing's going to happen," He promised and unsurely I reached up taking his hand. Chewing on the inside of my lip, I dropped the blanket on the ground and took tentative steps forward with him until the water started lapping up against my feet. Instantly the pressure built as I looked out to the waves and only saw the cracking of the dam which echoed in my head. Gripping onto my hand he squeezed slightly and I blinked away the vision to see him standing in front of me. "You're out, Annie." He spoke softly, reaching out and taking my other hand then he took another step back, making me follow. Shuffling forward through the water, I just kept looking at him and not the waves as it moved up from my ankles up to my knees then to my hips.

"Good," he grinned.

"What was that hardest thing for you?" I murmured, hoping to take my mind further off the water.

"Picking up a trident again," He answered with a straight face but didn't look away from me. "Every time I did I saw them in the back of my mind."

"Did it go away?" I questioned, looking to his eyes.

"Sometimes remember them, but mostly they have. I had to do it to live, there's nothing I can do to change that so I can't dwell on it," He answered as the water lapped up against my stomach and chest. "Now turn around," he let go of one of my hands and unsurely I did what he said but gripped onto his other hand as he tried to pull away my other lifeline. "I'm right here Annie, I'm not leaving," he promised and timidly I loosened my grip as his hand pulled away. "Now, lean back into me."

Taking a deep breath I did what he said and slowly, with his hands on my back, he eased me down into the water. Closing my eyes, it was like second nature as I just relaxed and floated to the surface. Stretching out my arms, I moved my hands around in the water, feeling the ebb and flow of the small waves.


	7. President Snow

'They were going to kill me,' that's all I thought about as I kicked, punched, and beat against Silver and Diamond's grip on me as they held me on the forest floor. Digging my hands onto the ground, I bucked and twisted around as they both smiled down at me while gripping onto my arms and legs. Just then District 2 tributes: Lyre and Titus, rushed in, both with their own weapons out and own menacing smiles. Not caring who heard I screamed out as loud as possible, not giving in as angry tears ran down my face. It couldn't end like this; I didn't want to die in this stupid arena. It wasn't meant to end like this.

Finally Diamond's hold gave in and I shoved my foot into her stomach, knocking her away before bringing them both up and wrapping my legs around Silver's neck, flipping him over. Jumping up they all rounded on me as I stepped back, holding out my hands defensively.

"Annie," Lyre spoke and my eyes shot to her with a glare which only made her smile. "Just stop."

"You'd like that wouldn't you. Make it easy?" I muttered as they took a step forward and I took a step back, but tripped over a tree root and went tumbling to the ground. Quickly both Titus and Silver lunged and I let out a shriek as Silver grabbed my arms again, pinning them down to my sides and Titus pinned my legs together. Lyre rushed forward and dropped down to my side pulling out a vile of something and syringe.

"Wait no!" A male voice shouted behind her and it was familiar but it'd be completely against the rules for him to be here. "You don't have to do this!"

"Please, Finnick, just stay back," Diamond sighed just as there was a sharp jab in my forearm and Lyre bent down letting me catch sight of him. Instantly it all came back as I looked to him and the forest faded away to the house, and the living room we were in. Wide eye I looked to the doctor beside me and then the peace keeper Edwin—which usually patrolled the village—holding my feet with Dad at my arms. Jerking my arms and legs back from them, their grip having loosened, I scrambled back into the wall of cabinets. Shaking slightly as I realized what I had been doing. I looked to the bloody lip of my father and the bruise forming on my mother's cheek. Turning away from them, I curled up into a ball as tears started streaming down my face.

"Come here," Finnick's soft voice sounded to my side but it seemed to echo as if it was far away.

"No, leave me alone," I attempted to push him away, but even I could tell that it was a weak push as I felt myself start to turn to mush and the jab came back to me, they had injected me with something.

Not paying attention to my protests, Finnick scooped his arms underneath me and simply just picked me up. Unable to help it I just leaned into his chest as he moved towards the stairs and the world started to go blurry around the edges. "You didn't need to do that," I heard him speak in the angriest tone I think I'd ever heard him use as he moved up the steps. Pushing open the door to my room, he walked over and placed me on the bed. Rolling to my side, I looked out the door to the balcony as I curled up on my side.

"The blanket," I murmured and felt it fall over me before the blurry mop of bronze hair moved into my view as he sat down on the floor beside me seconds before whole world blurred out into darkness.

oOo

Pushing my toe against the balcony I rocked back and forth in the chair as I sat there with the blanket wrapped tightly around me even though I didn't necessarily need it. It was plenty warm which is why I was just wear a pair of old loose shorts and a blouse but it provided that comfort I wasn't about to get. After the episode, my parents obviously knew that I wasn't fine and by the time I woke up the next day, having slept 14 hours straight there was a doctor being shoved in my face and pills down my throat.

The pills didn't exactly make it better either; they just made me feel numb. Numb to everything from the cold wind which would hit me when I woke up from the dreamless sleep in the early morning and would sit out here. And numb to the fact that I hadn't talked to or seen Finnick since blacking out that morning, except when I would see him on the beach or moving about his house. They had barred him out of the house and jailed me in, even though this was my house.

Pulling the blanket tighter around myself, I looked out to the waves, almost wishing that I could feel them again.

"President Snow, I'm afraid that she's not very conversational today," I heard my mother's nervous voice, but kept my eyes forward even as the thick smell of blood and roses hit my nose.

"I suppose you're right," He answered and now I heard them right behind me, but kept my stare out to the ocean, knowing that if he was here I wouldn't want to take part in the conversation that he wanted to have. "It's a pity, she came so far."

"Yes, well," Mother added in awkwardly and I could tell she wanted to say more, but instead decided for, "would you like something to drink?"

"Tea?" He offers. "With cream and sugar."

"Of course," She murmured and I heard her retreat out of the room and down the stairs.

"It's too bad," he murmured and I was tempted more than ever to look over to him but didn't dare. "Such beauty gone to waste." With that his footsteps and the overwhelming smell of blood and roses disappeared. I'm not sure how long he stayed but soon I heard the fire of an engine and the sound of a car driving off and as soon as it did someone dropped onto the balcony. Letting out a gasp I flipped my head to the one and only Finnick.

"What are you doing here?" I asked softly, furrowing my brows to him.

"Well normally when I want to see a friend, I come and see them," he smiled, walking forward and leaning back against the railing, but I could tell there was something else there. For two weeks he hadn't come to see me and now he just dropped in, literally. "What did President Snow want?" He questioned, half answering my question.

"I don't know," I answered truthfully. "I sort of pretended to be out of it when he came up here." At that he let out a small chuckle, but what President Snow had said truly hit me now that I thought over them. "They say I'm mad, Finnick," I frowned.

Getting his own frown he moved up in front of me, kneeling down and putting his hands over mine on the arms of the chair. "You're not mad, Annie," He reassured. "You just get lost sometimes. Don't ever believe them, any of them. Okay?"

"Alright," I gave a small smile and seeming to be satisfied he sat by my feet, leaning back against the railing.

"So you have no clue what President Snow wanted?" He questioned again.

"All he said was, 'such beauty gone to waste,'" I muttered and glanced down to see his expression go from curious/happy, to angry in the matter of seconds. "It's alright, Finnick," I spoke, nudged his leg with my foot I had been rocking myself with.

"I suppose so," he murmured, but didn't look at all comforted.

"How did you get up here anyhow?" I asked, desperately trying to find a new topic.

"Climbed up the tree, onto the roof and then dropped down here," He answered simply and I looked to the drop and the large tree that he had to be talking about. Looking to the ledge I knew that this was the time to do it because in a couple minutes mother would come up here and force another pill down my throat, making everything which was finally emerging to go numb again.

"Help me up?" I asked as I stood up and quickly dashed into my closet, grabbing a pair of sneakers.

"What?" he questioned as he stood up and I hurriedly pulled them on.

"I've been in this house for two weeks straight and soon I'm going to be forced to take yet another pill that just traps me inside myself. Please, help me," I whispered and he didn't even think about it before taking my hand and rushing over to the side. Cupping his hands together, he easily boosted me up to the roof to where I could grab onto the decorative edge of the tiled roof and work to hoist myself up as he continued raising me up over his head. Hooking my knee up, I got it and moved up the slightly sloped roof. Turning to look over at him, he gave a smile and then jumped, grabbing onto the edge and simply pulling himself up.

"Right here," He stood up and once again took my hand, helping me across the roof to a large limb which was about a foot away from the roof top. Stepping out onto it, he helped me on and then we both started down, simply dropping the five feet to the ground. I let out a giggle as we took off running like little kids towards the beach even though we were far from kids at 17 and 19. Pulling to a stop we just started walking once hitting the safety of the sand and turned to head towards the docks. "They're never going to let me in that house again." He chuckled, referring to my parents and sadly I realized that he was right.

"They don't understand it, and I can't blame them. After what I did to them," I sighed, thinking back to the bruises on both of them. "I think they're scared more than anything. Scared of me, scared of what it did to me, and scared that I'll never get back to who I was."

"They do realize that you're not going to, though, right?" He questioned.

"I'm not sure. I think they're slowly realizing it," I pursed my lips thinking over it. I hoped they did. What would happen if they never accepted it, that I wasn't the same Annie as the one they had sent off into the arena?

"I'm sure they will," Finnick tried to reassure, evidentially sensing my worry. Looking up to him, I contemplated asking if his father understood him once he got back but decided against it because it wasn't very long ago that he died from his boating accident.

"I should have grabbed different shoes," I attempted once again to change the subject as I tapped the toe of one of my shoes against the heel of the other to shift the sand to the front.

"Here," He laughed and moved in front of me. Raising an eyebrow, I wasn't quite sure what he wanted me to do. "Jump on," he motioned to his back and a little unsurely I wrapped my arms around his neck as he reached down and grabbed behind my knees. With a chuckle he jerked me up higher, grabbing onto the back of my thighs and I gave a small smile, and I loosened my hold around his shoulders.

"Thank you for being here for me, Finnick," I spoke softly. "I feel like my old self around you."

"I'm glad," He glanced back at me with a smile.

"But you know that if one of your admirers where to see us like this they might get the wrong impression," I joked and he let out a small gasp.

"Annie Cresta, did you just make a joke? I didn't know you had a sense of humor."

"You're just never funny enough to bring it out," I whispered.

"I'll have you know that a lot of people find me funny," He jerked me again; make me crash into his back once again just as there was a shout.

"Annie!" Finnick turned around and looked back to see my father jogging down the beach, but as soon as he saw me his worried face turned to anger. Crouching down slightly, Finnick slowly lowered me to the ground and I moved around him to meet my father's wrath. "Do you know how worried we were, you're mother goes up there and finds that you've just disappeared."

"Well, I'm right here," I reasoned softly. "I can even still see the house," I gestured to it.

"You aren't supposed to go out alone," He huffed.

"Finnick's here," I motioned.

"Without one of us, your mother or myself," He sighed, just casting a glance to man behind me.

"You and mom don't want to be alone with me. I scare you," I continued and he immediately started shaking his head.

"You don't scare us," He protested.

"I do Dad, you just don't want to admit it. Finnick's not scared; he helps me, he can understand." I tried to explain why doing this, why separating me from him wasn't going to help.

He looked between us for a moment before focusing back in on me, "well at least take your pills."

"If you're going to make me take those I might as well just sit in that room, because that's all that would matter. They just make me numb to everything. Do you want me to live life like that? I will if you want me to, because I know how much I hurt you. But I'm begging you not to." Pausing I licked over my lips as my whole mouth turned dry suddenly.

"Just come back home," he reached forward and took my shoulder, but by the look on his face I knew I had won a bit of the fight. Moving forward, I gave Finnick a small smile and continued forward, back to the house with Dad beside me.


	8. Finnick's Promise

"We should go swimming? Why don't you ever go swimming anymore, Annie?" Thom questioned as I laid out on the sand. Reaching up I covered my ears, struggling to block out the one sided conversation which had been going on for five minutes straight as he sat beside me. He had been showing up more often in the month and a half that had passed since the whole incident with my parents. But honestly I would much rather have him than being put back in the arena which only had happened once more. "I remember we used to go swimming all the time with everyone. Do you remember that time that all our mothers had to actually come out and get us because we wouldn't get out of the water?"

I let out a small laugh at the memory of my mother and every single other one in our group of friends, walking out in the water in their clothes, so tired of screaming their heads off at us.

"You were the most trouble if I remember correctly," he continued and I peeked my eyes open so see him, bloody neck and all. "Come on, Annie," He stood up and started into the water. Pushing up onto my elbows, I looked out to the waves. I did miss swimming and I hadn't been out there since the last time Finnick and I went out and that was almost two months ago. Kicking off my sandals, I stood up and followed him down the sand until the water started lapping up over my feet and just like last time the pressure of the current came back.

"Come on, Annie!" He shouted out and I looked to him but saw something magnificent. Now he wasn't speaking to me, and he wasn't the Thom I had just seen. Now he was speaking to what had to be about a ten year old me and a group of us from school were out in the water, just playing around. "I'll race you!" He shouted with a laugh but was already taking off and paddling out towards the buoy. I was the fastest, though, out of the whole group which is why I didn't complain about it and just kicked off the bottom, swimming after him.

"What do you see?" Finnick whispered from my side and I let out a small smile.

"Thom and I as kids," I murmured and then blinked, destroying the vision before looking over to him.

"Were you going to go swimming?" He asked looked down to my feet in the water and I gave a small shrug.

"I thought about it," I murmured, biting the inside of my lip.

"Well come on then," he scooped up my hand and just started walking in, making me stumble slightly. Measuring my breathing, I followed behind, but noticed that he slowed significantly as the water got up to my knees. Then as it got up to my waist, he quickly pulled his hand away, diving under. Letting out a slow breath, I stood there, feeling the water: the temperature, the slight current of the waves moving in and then flowing back out. Then I just simply took a deep breath and slipped under the water. For a moment it was good, it was peaceful just like it used to be but then I felt the pressure of Diamond holding me. I could feel her pressing down on my shoulders and struggled to flip around and get out from under the hold when two hands grabbed me under the arms and pulled me up.

Reaching up, I wrapped my arms tightly around Finnick's neck, tipping my head down as he wrapped his arms tightly around my waist just holding me there. "It's alright," he attempted to sooth as I tried to calm my racing heart and panicked breathing. Tipping my head back up, I rested it in the crook of his shoulder and neck as I tightened my arms around him. "You're alright," he murmured, but it almost felt like it was to himself. With me still gripping onto his neck, and him my waist he started back up to the beach until the water got to my knees and then he just swept my legs up with one of his arms. Sitting down on the beach, not exactly wanting to, but feeling weird about clutching onto him like this I dropped my arms but his other arm just wrapped back around my waist holding me there.

"Annie, I've got to go to the Capitol for a week," He murmured and while it didn't really concern me to know that, we both knew what that was going to mean. He wouldn't be there to bring me out of my episodes; help me figure out what was real and what wasn't.

"I'll be fine," I tried to convince not only him but myself. "It's just a week, I'm a lot better than I was a month ago."

"I know," he smiled and nodded but leaned back slightly and reached into his pocket, bringing out a now soaking piece of thin rope that was tied up with tons of complicated knots. "But I came up with an idea to keep your mind busy."

"This will cover an hour," I teased slightly, taking it.

"Well then knot it back up," He teased right back and I let out a small chuckle as he leaned back on his hands. Flipping around, so my legs weren't over his any longer I looked to the first knot. "Well don't start on it now," he grabbed it back out of my hands.

"So the capitol?" I questioned unsurely and he gave a nod that was just as unsure. "Should be fun, it's a pretty nice place…to visit that is." I gave him a small smile, glancing over to him and nudging his arm.

"That's true," he smiled slightly, causing me to furrow my brows. It was sort of a given of why he was going to the capitol, or at least partly, I just didn't understand fully why he was acting like this, but I didn't want to push it.

Letting out a sigh, I fell back in the sand, not caring about it sticking in my hair as I just soaked in the warm sun. Turning he looked down to me worriedly and I gave him a soft smile. "I'll be perfectly fine."

oOo

How wrong could a person be? I knew it would be difficult to do this as soon as he said that he was leaving for a week, but truly I didn't understand how difficult it would be, because he had always been there since I left that arena.

"She's just a mad little girl with her knots," The taunting voice of Silver sounded behind me as I curled up in the wicker chair out on the patio.

Mom and Dad didn't want me out of their sight which is why I was forced to sit down here instead of on the balcony, and since I woke up in the arena two days ago I had to take at least a half a pill in the morning, at lunch, and before going to bed. It was better than taking a whole pill every five hours and helped me hold onto reality but it still left me numb to my emotions.

I didn't want to turn and look to him, knowing that Mom was watching from the island in the kitchen where she was preparing lunch so instead I just continued to tie knots and then undo them. "Poor little mad girl. She might have won the games but she couldn't take it." He continued, closer than before and I closed my eyes while continuing to untie the knots.

"Hold on, Annie," I whispered to myself.

"Poor, little, mad…Annie." He whispered in my ear just as my name was called out happily.

Flipping around, I set eyes on Finnick who had a broad smile as he stepped out the door and rushed to me. Letting out my own smile I stood up and moved around the chair just as he got to me and at the same time he wrapped his arms around my waist I wrapped mine around his neck. With a laugh he picked me up off the ground as his arms tightened even more. Tipping my head down I let out a small smile as I felt everything that was right and I wasn't sure about snap back into place.

"Finnick," I whispered in relief, "you came back."

Pulling back slightly he looked down at me in confusion, both of our arms falling away. "Why wouldn't I come back? Good place to visit…you said it yourself."

"I had a…whatever they are," I frowned, "I was back in the arena but all of you were gone. I could feel it, my mom, my dad, you…everyone. Then I woke up and they were here, but you weren't. I was afraid that you weren't going to come back and I wouldn't know what was real or not." I quickly just shook my head and flipped back around, moving back to my chair. Sitting down, I began to work on the knots again.

"Annie," He spoke, moving around to crouch down in front of me, "I'll always come back to you. I promise."

"Finnick, don't make a promise that you're not sure you'll keep," I spoke softly.

He frowned and reached forward, taking either side of my face. "I promise." Unable to do anything else, I just looked to him wide eyed, wondering more than ever why he was putting himself through all of this also. Slowly he retracted his hold on my face, but just stayed there looking to me as I looked to him.

I scanned my jumbled mind, hoping to find something to answer my questions but the only thing that I could come up with and flowed out of my mouth was. "How was your trip?" I watched as his face fell, but then he quickly recovered and he got that wide smile that I could tell he gave when a bit stressed.

"It was good."

"You're lying."

"What?" he furrowed his eyebrows and stood up before moving to sit in the chair beside me.

"You're lying to me," I stated, looking over to him. "You always do that smile," I pointed to him, "when you're stressed out."

"I'm not," he forced out a laugh.

"So that's how this is going to be?" I questioned softly. "You can know all my secrets, but I can't know yours?"

He paused, leaning back in the chair as I glanced between him and my knots. "The secrets I know can hurt people," He murmured. "They could hurt you and I don't want that."


	9. Finnick's Secret

The temperature had seemed to drop drastically in the few weeks since Finnick had been back, forcing us to bring out our long pants, jackets, and even our rain boots and umbrellas because it had been drizzling constantly. But I wasn't about to stay hulled up in the house even while not only my mother and father but also Finnick told me to.

"Annie, you're going to catch a cold," He scolded as we walked along the beach, jumping into the lapping waves and sending the water splattering up over my boots and onto my pants which were tucked into them.

"Maybe I'll lose my voice and I won't have to go on the victory tour," I hoped, looking to him, walking backwards to face him. He let out his own small smile and reached forward to pull up the hood of my jacket to shield my hair from the drizzle.

"You'll do fine on the tour," He reassured and while I was better than three months ago, and I still had three more months to prepare for the tour, it wasn't something I was looking forward to, especially for District 1.

"Tell me? Did you enjoy going around to every district, reminding them that for you to win their child had to die?" I asked with a frown and he let out a long sigh.

"No," he relented, "but you get to eat a lot of food." I just shook my head slightly at him and rolled my eyes before flipping back around to stand beside him. "Speaking of food; usually on days like this, Mags bakes. Want to go see what she's made?" He smiled down to me.

"Sure," I nodded and gave him a small smile before flipping around to his back and jumping up. With a laugh, he gripped onto the back of my thighs as I secured my arms around his neck.

"You don't have to go to the capitol again until the tour right?" I asked softly and he nodded minutely, still not liking the subject, but I just found it hard not to wonder about it. I didn't like that whatever was happening weighed on him like this. It made my happy, smiling, laughing Finnick turn into the complete opposite. "Does it have to do with President Snow?" I questioned hesitantly.

"Annie, please," he sighed a little angrily.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, sadly as I craned my head around to look at the side of his face. "I-I just care about you, Finnick, and I know it bothers you." Almost instantly it seemed that the anger faded and he looked down to the wet sand before dropping me to the ground. Heaving another side, he just stood there and I shifted around, to look up at him even as he kept his eyes on the sand.

Finally he took in a deep breath and looked to me. "Remember what Snow said about you?"

"Such beauty gone to waste," I regaled, the statement burned into my memory.

He nodded slightly and then opened his mouth, seeming to work up the courage before closing it again. Frowning, I reached out and took one of his hands, scared of what he was going to say. "If a victor is considered…I guess…desirable enough Snow sells you to people."

Immediately so many things welled up in me that I didn't know I could become even more jumbled. I felt sick with disgust, and anger, and just hatred but never for Finnick, it was all aimed at the man that was ruining us all. But even with all of that I just couldn't wrap my head around it because it was so absurd that someone could do this. "Sell?" I murmured.

"He does it with a lot of victors, sells…their body…to people who pay an exorbitant amount of money and if you refuse they kill someone you love." Unable to help it my mixture of emotions formed angry, sad, and frustrated tears in my eyes. Quickly, he tore his hand out of my own and flipped around, as if he wanted to go somewhere but didn't know where so he just paced. "I don't want it Annie, the lovers that I'm known for wooing, to be known just for my looks. He shouldn't be able to do this to us. We fight so hard to be able just live and then he just destroys our lives!" Suddenly he let out an anguished shout and kicked a small rock, sending it into the waves.

Allowing him to get out all his pent up anger I slowly moved towards him, wiping away the stray tears. Looking up, I saw that his own angry tears had formed and just stepped to him and wrapped my arms tightly around his back, hoping that it would show what I couldn't find the words to say. Immediately his arms went around me, holding me tight to his chest as his chin rested on top of my head. "I'm so sorry, Finnick," I whispered after a long pause.

"Well I get something out of it," He spoke, putting up his perfect mask of handsomeness and humor once again and I pulled back slightly looking up to him. "Secrets," he whispered.

Now, getting the reason for the mask, I didn't try to pull it away and played into it. "They are pretty free with gossip," I smiled up at him, softly but it was almost drowned out as a wave crashed in on the sand.

Instantly my whisper turned to a slight scream as he let out a shout and chuckle from the wave hitting us. With a laugh from both of us we took steps back, but while still with our arms around each other when there was a loud whistle from up the beach. Pulling apart we both look to see Mags standing there with a mug of something and a plate of what Finnick must have been talking about.

Slipping our hands together, we let out smiles and started up to her.

oOo

Finnick had been right when saying that Mags was a good cook. Her strawberry almond cake was the best, leading me to eating two slices of cake which was nothing to Finnick who had almost eaten the whole cake she made for him, along with making one for Alice and her family. But with the sun setting and us being gone all day my parents were most likely getting worried so it was time to head home.

After saying goodbye to Ruben (who was also over) and hugging her goodbye, I stepped out onto her dark wooden deck and headed down, leaving them to say their goodbyes when I caught something out in the water. Tilting my head to the side, slightly I started out on the beach and as I got closer I saw that it wasn't so much a something, but a someone: me. I was simply just floating on my back and I recognized the outfit I was in, it was the one I was wearing the morning of the reaping. It was my last year and I had gotten out of bed early because I thought that since it was my last year I might have escaped it. That was the last time I was the carefree Annie that just wanted to swim then grow up and have a family.

All of a sudden I flipped up and looked right at myself and I could almost see myself reflected in her eyes, and I saw that we were almost like a mirror image but not quite. She was younger, happier, a bit naïve while I looked to be worn, much older, but also much wiser.

"Annie," Finnick's voice and his hand taking mine brought me out of my thoughts. "You ready?" He asked and I gave a nod, both of us starting down the beach.

"What did you want to do before the games?" I asked after a few steps.

"Well," He murmured, thinking it over. "I imagined getting my own boat and starting my own business. I would have liked a family." His voice cut off and I glanced up to him, only to see his green eyes looking back to me. "A pretty girl to walk down the beach with," he added with his signature Finnick smirk.

"Are you teasing me, Finnick?" I asked in faux anger.

"I would never tease you, Annie," He smiled and flipped around to walk backwards in front of me. And, for a moment I was that Annie I saw floating in the water. I was happy and laughing as I skipped forward and tried to step on his toes as he started to jog backwards in order to escape, also laughing. Taking a half leap, I finally got him but his sudden halt and my wide step sent us reeling back. Wrapping his arms around my waist, we both landed on the sand with an 'oomph' but still laughing.

Sighing, I rolled off to the side and just looked up to the starry sky, the clouds finally having cleared. "This is the hardest I've laughed since I left for the capitol," I whispered in amazement of the realization.

Chuckling, he propped himself up on his elbow, looking down to me with a soft smile. Unable to help it I gave a soft smile back. "I like it when you laugh," he reached up and brushed back a strand of hair before moving his hand around to cup my cheek. "Actually I like a lot about you," He whispered. Slowly, I watched him lean in and butterflies erupted in my stomach as my eyes automatically fluttered close, but nothing happened. Then I felt his hand leave my cheek. Flipping open my eyes, I looked over to see him sitting with his head in his hands.

Furrowing my brows, embarrassment welled up in me and quickly I just brushed off my hands from the wet sand and stood up. Just shaking my head in stupidity, I started towards my house as I continued to brush off my clothing.

"Wait, Annie!" He shouted out but I just continued to walk, not wanting him to see my embarrassed blush or the pity filled look he would give me. I'm mean how could the handsome Finnick Odair ever want to kiss me, the mad Annie Cresta. Who would want to take that bullet? "Annie!" He shouted out again and swerved around in front of me. "I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking."

"It's fine, I understand," I smiled slightly and moved to step around him, but he moved in front of me.

"Understand what?" he questioned.

"You're you: charming, funny, Finnick Odair, and I'm…well…crazy," I sighed slightly.

Quickly he reached out and grabbed my upper arms, holding me in place as I tried to move around him again and for the first time I saw that rare anger aimed at me. "Don't say that about yourself," He huffed. "You're not crazy, you're just like all of us. All of us have problems and yours aren't the reason why I pulled away. Mine are." I just looked to him as he pulled back slightly, dropping his hands. "If I were to kiss you, I'd open up a door I don't want to open because then every time I had to go to the capitol I'd be hurting you and that is the thing I don't want to do, most of all."

"So you do want to kiss me?" I asked unsurely and suddenly his anger switched to embarrassment, which sort of amazed me, because rarely did Finnick get embarrassed.

"Yes," He answered and I watched as his eyes, which had been locked on mine, dropped down to my lips. The blush sparked again as I look to his lips wondering that it would be like. I hadn't ever thought about it before, being with Finnick, because in reality it just seemed to be so unlikely.

For a long palpable moment we just stood there until I actually felt the strength to breath out, "I don't think one would hurt too much," and almost as soon as the last syllable dropped from my lips he reached forward taking my face gently and placing his lips against mine. I leaned up into the kiss that just felt so right. I mean of course it was great kiss, better than some that I had experienced, but it was more than that. Something that was so utterly unexplainable but yet it seemed like every clichéd statement you could think of combined together. It just felt…right, like two pieces finally clicking together.

Slowly, with his lips trailing on my top lip we pulled back and just looked to each other a bit shocked I think. Unable to help it my small smile turned into a wide one as I let out a little bubble of laughter. His shock seemed to grow a little more as he furrowed his brows to me and it only made me laugh harder

"What?" He questioned moving his hands from my cheeks, down to my shoulders and quickly I shook my head.

"I don't know…it's just…I'm just happy," I sighed with a smile. "You make me, Me, Finnick. You bring me back."

"And you let me be Me," He smiled and moved his hands around to my lower back.


	10. Managing

With the winter came rain along with the cold which ruled out any more walks on the beach and to avoid being constantly stuck up in my own house I tended to spend my time with Finnick at his cabin style home. I liked it much more than my modern one even though it had the same basic design, because it had a completely open layout up into his personal bedroom/sitting area/office loft space above the main area. But in the past three weeks since our kiss it had been a struggle because both of us did know when he went to the capitol it would hurt for both of us. He had been right because it did open a door and that door couldn't be closed now, leaving us in this weird place which we didn't know how to get out of. So instead we filled our time with a stupid game where we would ask the other question and see if they could get the fact right.

"Middle name," He questioned as we sat on his couch. Well he sat, facing me and I laid on the other end, looking up to the ceiling as I tried to remember or think of the answer to the fact.

"Oliver," I smile, having known that since his games, which seemed to astonish him based on the look he was giving me.

"How did you know that?"

"From the Finnick Odair fan club cards that some girls made during your games," I answered with a smile. "I believe I can also remember your height, weight, and favorite feature on a girl when you were fourteen," I giggled slightly.

"Well," He motioned.

"Umm…67 inches tall…125lbs…and blonde hair," I smirked at the last fact, remembering a lot of girls having hair that smelled like lemons that summer.

"Yes, well I was 14 and foolish," he smiled to me. "Favorite color?"

"Uh, chartreuse," I guessed and smiled to the look he gave me.

"Green," He corrected and I nodded, making a mental note. "Favorite animal?"

I pursed my lips trying to think up an another reply to the question I didn't know the answer to. "A Narwhal?" I answered, putting on a completely serious tone and yet again he made that face of complete confusion: furrowed brow, slightly pursed lips, and slightly tilted head.

"What is a narwhal?"

"It's like a beluga whale, with a horn on its nose," I gestured, trying to show it even though it probably didn't help at all.

"On its nose?" he teased, mimicking my gestures and I nodded. "Why do you always give such weird answers?" He laughed.

"Because you make this certain face," I answered with an innocent smile and instantly his smile turned into a slightly mischievous one and he launched at me, over my legs with his hands out ready to tickle, a weakness that he had found about a week ago and loved to take advantage of. Letting out a half laugh and half shriek I pushed against him and tried to wiggle out of his grip. Suddenly as I looked up there was this sort of shift as the ceiling of exposed support beams sprouted leaves and more branches.

"Annie," Finnick murmured, stopping his tickling and as usual, I blinked and the vision faded back into normal as I looked to him. His smile was still there, but it wasn't as happy as it just had been a few minutes ago. Instead it was full of worry and even a little sadness.

"Sorry," I frowned slightly.

"You don't need to apologize," he brushed it off and leaned forward placing a soft peck to my cheek before pushing back up and sitting on his side of the couch but facing me. Pushing up on my arms I scooted over to the other side, crossing my legs in front of me but I wasn't sure what to say to him with what had just happened. Looking down to my hands I just twiddled my fingers, picking at the cuticles which the prep team was sure to comment on when they came in two months. "How much sleep did you get? He asked after a long pause.

"About the usual," I murmured, continuing to look down to my hands, "four hours. But I don't have any more pills."

"So the nightmares came back," He murmured and I gave a nod. "Why don't you get more."

"Because," I sighed and reached up rubbing the heels of my palms against my forehead because I had just gone through this with my parents.

"Because…" he led in.

Aggravated, I dropped my hands narrowing my eyes at him slightly, "what am I going to do? Take them for the rest of my life? For the rest of my life I'm going to have to deal with this. I going to have to deal with seeing things that aren't real for the rest of my life, and I don't want to do that by being medicated. I want to learn to manage it."

Licking over his lips, he looked down at his hands and I could see it on his face the struggle he was going through. He didn't like the idea of me potentially going through the flashbacks to the forest again, which I hadn't for a while. Biting the inside of my lips, I timidly scooted towards him until I was sitting knee to knee with him.

"Please don't give up," I whispered worriedly and his eyes immediately shot up to look at me.

"I will never give up on up on you," He said so assuredly that there was no doubting it. "I'm just worried how you're going to take it. Maybe you should wait until after the tour."

"That's already in the deal that my parents made with me," I murmured. "I'm going to take some with me, and if there's any sign I have to start taking them again. But I have two months. Two months to perfect my camera persona."

"But, Annie, how are you going to do that if you can't sleep," he reasoned.

"I'll manage," I smiled to him slightly, but even though I tried to make it reassuring, I could tell that it was coming off a bit unsure. It seemed to please him nonetheless though, because he let out a small smile of his own and leaned forward, placing a soft kiss on my lips.

oOo

Wrapping up my hair on top of my head I moved out of my bathroom, ready for bed when there was a small tap on the door in front of me. Looking up, I set eyes on the one and only Finnick on my balcony with a broad smile on his face.

Shaking my head slightly, I moved forward, pulling open the door slightly. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to make sure you get a full nights rest," he explained.

"Finnick, you need to stop coddling me. I need to learn how to do this myself," I sighed softly and his smile dropped slightly.

"Annie, I'm not trying to coddle you," He murmured. "I just don't want you to hurt. I'll sleep on the couch and just be here to wake you up if you have a nightmare." Unable to help it, I pulled the door open more and let him in before moving around to my closet. Stretching up, I moved to grab the extra blanket at the top and snagged a pillow from my bed before pushing him out onto the couch, a bit angry that he was doing this. "Thank you," he grinned innocently over to me as I moved to go back in my room, fully aware that I wasn't too happy. "Goodnight, Annie."

Ignoring him, I slipped into my bed and turned off the bedside lamp, but then that nagging feeling hit me as I glanced back through the open door to see his silhouette settling in on the couch which he couldn't possibly fit comfortably on since I barely fit on it lengthwise. "Goodnight, Finnick," I called back softly before settling back on my pillow.

oOo

'_Just keep running. Don't you dare stop running.' A voice sounded in the back of my head._

_Trees crashed down all around me. Cracking and splintering before slamming into the blood coated ground, splattering hot, thick, red droplets all over me._

_Just keep running! Don't you dare stop running._

_Dodging around one of them, I skidded and slipped on the ground, sending myself reeling to the ground face first. Pushing up onto my feet, I could feel the blood all over my face and crowning my hair but a deafening crack made me slip and slide back into a sprint. _

_Just keep running! Don't you dare stop running!_

_Suddenly I spilled out onto a clearing where my feet immediately seemed to stick to the ground. Looking down, wide eyed I saw that the ground was more than just coated, it was soaked in it. Struggling, I tried to push back into that run which the voice was screaming at me to do, but I couldn't. Just then I figured out why the voice had been screaming at me to as I was seized by the hair and thrown to the ground. Wiping the red from my face I rolled onto my back only to come face to face with a spear point as it reared back and bounced back toward me._

With a gasp, I flipped open my eyes to find myself staring up at the ceiling and tangled in my blankets. Pushing up onto my elbows, I looked to the clock to see that it was only one in the morning, meaning I had only been asleep for two hours. Still breathing hard, I laid back down, trying to calm my racing heart and realized that I wasn't about to get anymore sleep anytime soon unless I gave up on my ideals of doing this on my own. The only time that I had truly gotten a peaceful nights rest without the help of medication was when I had fallen asleep with Finnick beside me. Biting the inside of my lip, and feeling more like a child than I had in a longtime the factor of actually getting some sleep won out and I pulled off my covers.

Slowly, I moved out into the sitting room where he was snoring softly and stooped down in front of him to find myself more timid than ever. He had lost the blanket at some point in his turning, leaving him just sprawled out on the couch, one foot actually resting on the back, in his long sleep pants. Biting my lip, I looked to his peaceful sleeping features and embarrassedly over his bare chest. Shaking my head, I stood back up and started back to my bed when he suddenly caught my hand.

"Did you have a nightmare?" He whispered his voice a little scratchy from sleep.

"Yes," I whispered back, looking to him as he turned on his side and he pulled me back towards him. Lying down in front of him, he shifted again, reaching forward to pick up the blanket, laying it over with the hand that wasn't attached to the arm under my head.

"Go to sleep, Annie," he whispered and placed a soft kiss on my temple. Settling back against his chest, I laid my arm over his that was around my waist and settled in for the first peaceful night's sleep in a long while.

oOo

"Time to get up," My mom's voice echoed in my head as I rolled over onto my back to once again look up at the ceiling in my room because once again Finnick had carried me there and then disappeared. "You haven't slept in this long for a very long time," she continued as she pulled up the blinds on the doors, letting in the bright sunlight.

"Yeah," I murmured, finding that this time it hurt a little bit that he had done it.


	11. Start of the Tour

The nightly visits continued and somehow Finnick seemed to attune himself to my schedule first by being there when I woke myself and then by actually waking me from the nightmare before I'd get the chance. After that we just began the night in same bed, me wrapped in his arms comfortably but every morning when I'd wake up he would gone. But otherwise I had never been so happy. I was sleeping better than I ever had, leading to less visions. I was probably the most 'normal' I had been since getting back from the arena but was about to end. I could feel it, the stress, the anxiety and all because of the ridiculous victory tour I had to go on.

Over the past month I had been prepping for it, including working on my talent which had been decided on playing the piano that I had been playing since I was little, but hadn't even touched since getting back. So, making my biggest purchase with my wages, I bought a new piano which was better than the old one we used to have and placed it in the corner of the living room in the perfect place to be shot for the camera crew.

"Annie!" Finnick's called but I wasn't ready. I didn't want to go in yet even though the cold was cutting through my knee length coat and stinging the section of skin that only had thin olive color tights, because of the gap between my rain boots and the a-line dark purple printed dress I had on. From the selection of dresses and pants that Auricula had shown me, I had gathered that they were trying to go for a more grown up look; a matured Annie and not the scared little girl. Even the new coat, that she had laid out and I now had on, was something that would have more than likely been seen on my mother than me, this time last year. The whole thing consisting of a dark plum paisley, wool, with three large brass buttons down to just below my bust where it flared out. "Annie," He spoke, moving up beside me and I saw him check to see if I was listening and not seeing a vision. With a simple glance up I confirmed that I was present. "They'll be here in an hour," He spoke of Crucis and the camera crew, "you need to get in there and finish getting ready."

In silence, except for the crash of waves I looked back out to the horizon. "I wonder what they would do if I just swam away; up the coast until getting to the wilds. What would they do without a toy to look to, to play with?"

"First they would hurt everyone you love in hopes of punishing you, and if that didn't work they would just have to wait 6 more months before getting another one." He murmured sadly as I turned to face him. Giving me a sad smile, he reached up to my cheek but paused and pulled back. We couldn't do that now. Not with the potential of someone we couldn't completely trust seeing us and with my luck the camera crew would show up early and catch us. Frowning, both of us started up towards the house where once I stepped inside I was pushed up to my room and both my boots and the coat were ripped off as my hair was pulled into an elegant braided undo. Closing my eyes I just sat there and listened to the team talk of what had been happening in the capitol. When I opened them again my hair was braiding into a seashell design, my lips were colored a deep purple and I had a pair of t-strap high heels on my feet.

Stepping forward, Auricula adjusted the loose bow at the neck of the semi-sheer dress before leaning back and looking to her creation. Then satisfied, it was time for the camera. Moving down the steps I saw that Crucis was already there with the crew and Finnick was gone, probably to get his own things for the journey which only he would be coming on as my mentor since Mags didn't exactly prefer the winter weather that was much harsher in the other districts. And also, he was off to get pictures taken by another crew for reasons I didn't want to think about. Soon, I put on my camera smile, which I had perfected with Finnick, and after a few shots with the family, Mom and Dad went off with another crew and I was left to my talent.

Smoothing out the back of my dress, I sat down, positioning my foot on the pedals and started playing the song I had been perfecting of the last month. I had never really liked playing the piano, it was just something that my mom wanted me to do because she had and before that her mother, but now I almost found the music comforting. Glancing up every couple moments, I watched as the camera circled around me, recording their victor. Ending the song with a simple flourish, I then found myself being pushed off towards the door with Auricula putting the coat on me, along with a soft white knitted scarf.

"Wait," Mom called soon before we headed out the door and I pulled back curiously because we had already hugged goodbye. "Take this with you," She smiled, and pulled one of her family's most precious pieces. Having never been the top of the pyramid in District 4 both sides of my family had to sell certain things off in order to eat in some dire years but the locket she was handing me always made it. Made of gold, with beautiful filigree over the face—which was now a bit worn along the edges—and inlaid in white enamel I had always admired the piece.

"Thank you," I smiled to her, "help me?"

Nodding, she took the long chain, which had small pearls intermittently placed along it, and strung it over my head, helping me sort out the layers before leaning in. "I've put something in it to keep you strong," She whispered aware as I was that the cameras were still on us. Pulling her into another tight hug I placed a kiss on her cheek before stepping back to my father once again and giving him another hug and kiss on the cheek. Then we were off in the car after bidding Mags goodbye.

I moved through the rest of the day with a true smile, saying goodbye to those that hadn't treated me a bit different even though I knew the very true rumors were out there that I had gone mad. Then we moved onto the train: Auricula, Crucis, Finnick and me off for District 12. Moving into my compartment, I started peeling off my coat and scarf hanging both of them up before sitting down on the bed and pulling off the locket, the curiosity killing me. Popping it open I saw the picture that my mother had in there since I was born and that was her holding newborn me and both her and Dad with widest, proudest smiles you could imagine. Then on the other side she had added something, cutting it to the appropriate size so the words, 'hold on Annie,' fit in the oval.

Instantly tears sprung to my eyes just because she knew me so well. I loved my parents, and I knew they loved me more than anything, but just ever since I had gotten back I felt like I was losing them; especially my mom who I had always been so close with. I thought that I scared her, and I guess while I might this proved more than anything that she still knew me better than I knew myself. Closing it, I clutched it in my hand as I wiped at the few escaped tears with my other hand.

"Annie, dinner-" Finnick's words immediately shut off and he moved towards me worriedly. "What's the matter?"

"Nothing," I shook my head slightly and stood up. "I'm just happy."

"Happy?" he muttered with a raised eyebrow and glanced back briefly before stepping up in front of me and taking my face in his hands. "You don't look very happy." Gently he rubbed his thumb under my eyes, no doubt wiping off the smeared makeup.

"Happy and relieved," I clarified. "It's nothing to worry about."

"Alright," He smiled, satisfied and leaned down to kiss me, but pulled back slightly before placing a kiss on my cheek. "Lipstick," he murmured in small distaste as he pulled away and I let out a giggle. He moved back to the door as I hurried into the bathroom and quickly cleaned up my makeup, then started back out. Linking my hand with his, I smiled back to him as we moved to the dining area before dropping them as we emerged to the smiling, laughing, table.

oOo

That night I found myself in a particularly weird position, because even though my efforts of being self-reliant in calming myself had begun, I now found myself in a particularly weird place because I was even more dependent on Finnick for sleep. Biting my lip slightly I looked to the bed, contemplating if I should just take half of one of the pills that my mother had tucked deep into my bag, when there was a slight knock on my door.

Instantly a smile came to my face because I knew it was him and hurriedly opened my door just enough for him to slip in and then closed it. "New pajamas?" he questioned looking to the light blue silk night clothes that Auricula had forced me to wear by taking my normal simple ones.

"Auricula," I whispered and he gave a nod of understanding as both of us slipped into the bed, just laying on our sides in the dark and looking to each other's silhouettes and the faint features we could make out by the moon light occasionally coming in through the window. "Finnick," I whispered after a long moment. "At some point you're going to have to stop helping me like this." I could see a noticeable drop in his shillhoutte and could just imagine the drop in his usual smile. "I'm relying on you for so much, and I can't do that for the rest of my life," I whispered.

Just by the half syllables he was uttering I could tell that he wanted to say something but instead just rolled on his back, letting out a sigh. "Annie, I want to make you feel better," He murmured. "I can't stand you hurting; it hurts me." His voice dropped into a whisper. "You and Mags are my world." Tipping back up on his side, he reached forward and brushed back my hair and his voice dropped into a whisper so low that it was hard to hear him, even in the silence. "I adore you, Annie."

I so wanted to say something back, but couldn't find it because I knew that if I did then in two weeks it would hurt even more when he went off on his own in the Capitol and I couldn't tell him that because then it would hurt him. It was coming time though that I'd have to start protecting myself, so I said it. "After we get home we'll work something out," I whispered and leaned forward, placing a soft kiss on his cheek which had no trace of a smile as he pulled me in and I settled against his chest.


	12. The Tour

**I'm sorry for not updating in such a long time, as usual life has caught up in the form of finals and trying to memorize months worth of information once again for a test. I don't want to promise of course to do better with summer courses coming up (and everyone says those are hard) but I really will try to do better. Thank you everyone for reading. **

* * *

Having written out my speeches beforehand, knowing that I wouldn't be able to think of a word once it started I was prepared for what I was going to say but not what I was going to feel. As I walked up on the veranda of the justice building I looked down to the faces of the people in the poorest district in Panem. District 12 was known for mining and you could tell that by the black dust that seemed hang in the air and coat your mouth. It was so different than the salty sea air of District 4, and the forest that just loomed outside the electric fence reminded me of the forest in my nightmares.

The people were nice though. Mayor Undersee, his wife and daughter greeted me with wide smiles and the people clapped for me, even though I don't think I deserved it as I stood up there in my crisp tailored black trousers with lace detailing along the sides and a dark navy blouse. With a nervous smile, I had accepted my large plaque, having handed back my flowers to Finnick, who was standing behind me, and said my speech while trying to show my condolences to the families sitting on either side of the stage. Then came one of the hardest parts and that was at the dinner where I had to converse with the people, where I'm sure would they just prefer me to leave.

I found it hard too. My mind kept wanting to drift off because of the constant reminders in questions and stories of the games. Over in the corner sat the only victor of District 12, nursing his glass of alcohol and I desperately wanted to just go over and hide in the corner with him but Crucis kept me circulating with a smile. Then, finally it was time to go, but I didn't get any time to truly regain that precious bit of Annie from before (the one I had been hanging onto) as I arrived in District 11 the next afternoon, going through their heavily guarded fences.

It was constant with new outfits, the same smile, and the added stress as we got closer to the Capitol. And as we got closer though you could see the shift almost in the most oppressed districts where the victors were few and far between, to places like District 2 were I was paraded down the streets with a cheering crowd.

Then we hit District 1, the district that I had been looking the least forward to because I had killed both their tributes. Both families on either side were grieving for their children because me of and never had I felt like more of a sham as I did while accepting that bouquet of flowers and large plaque. It made it even worse too that their children were the villains of my nightmares and they haunted me around the dinner, constantly distracting me from conversations and earning weird looks from the person or persons I was talking to. I could see the flip in their eyes, the rumors of me going mad confirming themselves and I couldn't have been happier to get out of there and move back onto the train, but as soon as I hit that threshold I realized that we were just leaving one hell and going to a worse one.

Ignoring the looks from Auricula and Crucis, I started back to my room. They had long since had their suspicions confirmed, especially Auricula when, back in 8, she tried to put a bright red lipstick on me and I flat out refused. Unzipping the side of the white lace peplum blouse I pulled it off along with the floral tailored pants and the high heels and changed into my silk pajamas.

I didn't know what I was going to do as I moved up in front of that crowd. How was I going to function in front of the capitol, the president, when I couldn't even fool complete strangers? And then Finnick wouldn't be there for most of it which was both added to my sanity worries and provided a whole new pain.

Just thinking about it, him in bed, smiling, laughing and everything combined with some Capitol whore that bought him was enough to make me start hyperventilating as Auricula slipped me into what was by far the most elegant, yet sexy dress. It fit right in with her image for me, styled to accentuate my small natural waist then flowing down to the floor. It was colored a nice champagne color, and made of a wonderful chiffon that had lines of diamonds throughout; but the off the shoulder design which lead into a deep v and the thigh high slit in the front was also a source of anxiety.

"Annie!" She half gasped and half shouted as she looked to me wide eyed.

"I can't breathe," I gasped out, hunching over slightly, grasping at my bare chest.

"Finnick!" She called, all on the train having seen the obvious connection and the door burst open as if he were standing right outside.

"Hey, hey," He called softly, moving in front of me as Auricula stepped over to the side of the room. "Annie, it's alright. Just breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth," He smiled and I put my hand against my stomach as he started counting, both of us having done this many times over the past two months of preparations. "That's right," he smiled as my breathing turned to normal and I stood back up and watched his eyes go a little wide.

"Wow," He breathed out and skimmed his eyes over me; from my hair—which was styled over in a loose side braid which also had a gold chain with light blue and gold beads on it threaded throughout—down to my natural makeup with black liner and pink lips, and then the dress down to my matching high heeled sandals. Equally though, I was looking over him from the styled bronze hair to the impeccably fit blue-gray suit with a white shirt underneath that he had left a few buttons undone so he didn't look too stiff. Then the fact that someone would be taking that off him hit and I let out a small cough, looking away.

"Sorry," I spoke to Auricula and she gave a small smile and nod before stepping back up to me to put the finishing touches on her master piece. Out of the corner of my eye I watched Finnick move back to the door, but didn't exit. Taking a deep breath, I tried to calm my nerves as she looped the locket—which I had worn everyday—over my neck, but tucked it into the front of my dress. "Perfect," she smiled as she stepped back and something like, 'utterly,' echoed her in a whisper from Finnick and I glanced over to him before looking away almost immediately.

"Can you give us a moment, Auricula?" he asked and she gave a small smile and nod before exiting the room, the door sliding shut behind her with an audible click that filled the silent room. Licking over my painted lips to try and get some moisture into my suddenly dry mouth as I just stood in the middle of my usual room in the training center, which is once again a point of anxiety and hunting images which would hopefully stay at the back of my mind. But Finnick, well he instantly started towards me, his shining dress shoes clicking across the floor.

Moving in front of me, I watched motionlessly as his hand rose up to take my chin but made the mistake of looking in his eyes as his thumb brushed over my bottom lip. He looked so sad, almost heartbroken as he looked back to me. "I don't want to do this, Annie," he whispered. "I want to stay by your side all night. I want to kiss you in front of everyone, but if I do they'll hurt Mags. They'll hurt you and I can't have that."

"I know," I whispered back and for the first time since this tour started we gave in and met in a kiss. It had to end far too soon though as I had to leave for the interview with Caesar Flickerman in front of the eagerly waiting Capitol audience. Instantly as I stepped out on the stage I found myself not haunted so much with flashbacks of sitting here, but of wondering how many of those women that are cheering for me had bought Finnick. However, as horrible as it seemed, the anger at them kept me sane for the interview which I smiled and laughed through with Caesar.

With a girlish giggle and smile I stood up and hugged him as the crowd clapped once more, hopefully convinced that the rumors that might have reached them weren't true as I moved off the stage and was shuffled to the banquet room at President Snow's mansion. Never have I been more terrified or amazed as I walked down the steps with thousands of eyes set on me. It was by far the largest feast that we'd had with dancing on one side of the large room, and then there was conversation on the other. I knew I would, without a doubt, be pulled to both sides throughout the night, something that I wasn't about to look forward to. Then set around the edges, in between the numerous sitting areas, were tables full of more food than I had ever seen; food enough to feed the entire district for an entire year most likely.

Moving around to the closest one, wide eyed, I looked to a selection of breads that ranged from simple rolls to savory rolls with meats and different cheeses woven into them to sweet breads with sticky caramel and nuts over them. With a smile I took a bite of one with sugary strawberries and cream inside and almost fainted with how good it tasted.

"Annie," Crucis moved up to my side, "there's people that want to meet you." He grinned, knowing that I would hide away with the food throughout the night if he didn't intervene. Taking the piece of bread he simply threw it away into baskets that are already filling with uneaten food and anger sparked again because while my district wasn't starving for food, from the tour I knew that many were. I didn't have time to focus on that much though as he threw me to the Capitol piranhas. Eagerly women moved forward with both woven bracelets, just like the one that I had taken in for my token, and lockets which seem to be all the rage now. Almost every woman that I met had one around her neck and I surprisingly saw a lot of the same fabrics and patterns that Auricula had put me in throughout the tour. Moving around I took pictures and smiled to the people in between eating new things and there wasn't a single thing that I found I didn't like, but still found myself wondering about the notably missing figure and that anger kept me present.

Finally, I got a small break as a popular song started to play and I moved around to a sitting area focused around a small pond which had a couple turtles swimming around in it. They had a couple of these little oasis' in the room, surrounded my comfortable sitting areas, along with sitting areas with fountains and fire places. Just then I got that feeling that someone was staring at me, which wasn't new in this crowd, but this felt different. Turning around, I scanned the area before looking up to see a figure up in the balcony area staring right at me: President Snow. Instantly I looked away as a man with bright orange streaked hair and a bright blue suit walked forward. Putting on a smile as I had the entire evening, I expected a picture or something, but instead he asked for something else.

"Would you like to dance?" He smiled, revealing perfect white teeth and attracting the attention of many of the people around us. Unsure what to do because President Snow was watching I stuttered out a 'sure.' His smile widened considerably and I could hear the whispers as he looped his arm for me. Forcing out a smile I hooked my hand in the loop and we started out to the floor where the musician's picked up a new song and I felt the anxiety spinning a new web as the anger faded. Struggling I tried to find a woman's face and get the anger which held me together but I couldn't, the nervousness was winning out as he spun me around on the floor.

Just then I heard a cruel laugh off to the side and glanced over to see Silver and Diamond watching with cruel smiles, laughing at me. Trying to ignore it, I moved into the spin the man pushed me into but as soon as I was back in our form I spotted them again, closer than before as they moved through the dancing couples. Suddenly another figure moved into my view as the man spun me once again and I looked up to see Finnick as the song we had been dancing to wound down.

"Do you mind if I take this dance?" he gave a charming smile to the man who hadn't seemed to notice anything but retreated for the amazing Finnick Odair.

"Are you alright?" he whispered as he took the man's place, of course having noticed and I nod my head as both the anxiety and anger just vanished as soon as I looked up to him and he smiled back down to me. I hadn't seen him since the end of the interview which was hours ago, and I could definitely smell the faint scent of perfume, but he was here. He knew I needed him and he showed up to rescue me. I wanted to ask if he was done, if he could stay with me the rest of the night but couldn't find the courage as I realized Snow was watching me.

Flipping my head around quickly I looked up to the balcony and in relief found it empty, but still everything was being televised. "It's alright," he smiled to me as the music picked up once again and we started dancing. Unable to help it I reflected his smile as happiness welled inside of me and I realized that I was the happiest that I have been the whole night and hoped that once the dance ended it would tide me over for the rest of the night, because the hatred for all the women didn't work. At a low point he dipped me down while giving me that soft Finnick smile and I let out a giggle before he pulled me back up into a spin.

All too soon, though, the music wound down and the anxiety built as I realized what a stupid idea it had been. As we pulled out of our hold I saw the cameras and all the people looking to us. Obviously they were cheering and clapping, as usual, but I'm sure President Snow wasn't. "Don't worry," he whispered and put that charming smile back on as led me over to the side and the other couples moved forward. "Have you tried this?" He asked and brought me over to table with beef on it, but rolled up in side of it was some sort of red jelly.

"No," I shook my head slightly and he quickly got me a piece.

"Just always keep a plate in your hand, then they won't ask to dance," He whispered and I nodded as I took a bite and the sweet jelly melted right in with the beef, and I found yet another thing that I liked. "And don't drink that stuff," He motioned to the table full of small glasses filled with clear liquid. "It makes you get sick."

"What?" I asked in alarm.

"It's so they can keep eating," He murmured and that disgusted feeling came back. "I know," he nodded sadly and looked over my shoulder, his small smile fading. "Umm…I've got to go. I'll see you back at the train."

Instantly my smile faded but I nodded as I looked to him, trying to show the understanding more than the sadness as he looked to me for a moment then walked off. Turning my head, I looked after him and watched as he met up with a woman with silver tattoos winding around her arms with a wide charming smile. Leaning down he whispered into her ear and I felt the happiness I had been trying to hold onto drain as the anger once again took hold. Unable to help it, even though I knew it would just increase the hurt, I turned to him full as I watched her loop her arm in his and they moved up the steps. Just before they moved out the doors Finnick turned back and as if a magnet he looked right to me before leaving.

Not soon enough Crucis came to get me and told me it's time to go and I slid into the car emotionlessly and moved back onto the train. Wordlessly we all separated, the others too stuffed with food and tired at the early morning hour which I was glad for as I slipped into my compartment. Half listening for someone to come into my room, as I undressed and cleaned off the make up in the bathroom but started to get worried as I reemerged into my room wearing the silk pajamas with my hair piled up on my head and he still wasn't there. Sitting down on the edge of the bed, I just waited for him to come in but then the train started up, meaning he must be back on. Still I continued to wait, thinking that maybe he was going to take a shower first which I had to admit I was relieved about but after thirty minutes I was really worried and just decided to go to him.

Quietly I moved down the hall until getting to his door and gave a soft knock. After waiting a moment with no answer I couldn't take it any longer and pulled open the door just enough to slip in and then closed it to find him lying on his bed with his back to me, illuminated by the single lamp beside the bed. Now dressed in a normal pair of long sleep pants, he wasn't in his usual sleeping position, sprawled out on his back with arms and legs in different directions. Instead he was laying stiff, almost in a loose fetal position. Moving forward, I pulled off my robe and laid it on the chair before walking over to him. He didn't move, not an inch as I got to the side and stepped up on the edge, then over him.

Kneeling down to face him he finally reacted to me and opened his eyes, looking up at me and I saw the glisten of tears along the edges and in the corners. I could feel my heart break into a million pieces and quickly laid down beside him but didn't have a clue what the right thing to do was. All I could do was go by instinct and reached out, taking his face in my hands as I scooted closer and placed a soft kiss on his forehead. Quickly he shifted and wrapped both his arms around me, crushing me against him, and pressing his face against my chest as I wound my arms around his neck, holding him just as tightly to me.


	13. Death

For the first time ever I woke up to Finnick gently brushing my hair back. He hadn't carried me back to my room and forced me once again to wake up without him and it was probably the best feeling in the world. "Good morning," he said as I opened my eyes and I looked up to his smiling face.

"Good morning," I murmured and took in a deep breath, tipping my head down into the pillow unable to fully hide the wide smile.

"You know something, Annie?" He asked softly, moving his hand back down to my waist as he laid back down to look at me and I shook my head slightly. "You are breathtakingly beautiful." Instantly a scarlet blush moved over my cheeks at the open statement.

"And your devastatingly handsome," I fired back with a grin, looking up in his eyes before leaning up for a kiss but instantly his smile dropped and he pulled away. Biting my lip slightly, I pulled back and propped myself up on my elbow. "I'm sorry," I whispered and he shook his head before pushing up off the bed and flipping around to sit on the edge of the bed, just looking down at the floor. I inched forward on my knees, cautiously moving up beside him.

"I don't want to kiss you after what I did last night," he whispered.

"Finnick, I…" I tried to come up with something that would try to make him feel better but everything seemed to be able to be turned into a negative. At that realization tears sprung in my eyes. "I don't know what to do to make you feel better," the words just started spilling from my mouth. "All I do know is that you've been there for me, for everything. You defended against my worst nightmares, and I want to try and help you but all I can come up with to say is that I love you." Instantly his eyes shot to me as I bit my lips together, cutting off my rambles a little wide eyed.

"You love me?" He questioned.

I just paused, trying to think of something to get me out of this, "did I say that?"

"Yes," he murmured and I gave a nervous gulp as I looked to him and gave a tiny head nod. "You love me?" He questioned again and I once again nodded having lost the ability to speak. "Even with everything?" He asked and I was about to answer when the door flew open.

"Annie," Auricula gasped out, "you need to come watch this." Just looking to her state (which wasn't at all as put together as she usually was) I quickly stood up, grabbing Finnick's hand and followed her as we rushed to the sitting area were everyone else was gathered looking to the TV.

Instantly everything seemed to blur and fade as I looked to the picture on the TV of a smoking half of a house. Some of the beautiful house stood still, as a half reminder of what it used to look like but the other was in shambles, charred black with some places still on fire which people were trying to put out. But while that might have been horrible just to see, the fact that the house was mine and my section of the house was untouched made me want to be physically sick.

oOo

As we moved off the train there was no stopping to greet everyone because hardly anyone was there. There wasn't even a camera crew as we started to victor's village. I didn't know what was happening, I didn't know where my parents were, the TV hadn't told us anything except for showing an image of it. But, I had feeling of what had been done and it was starting to drag me under the waves. Even Finnick's hand in mine wasn't enough to draw me out.

We emerged, the car navigating up the crowded street which was lined with peacekeepers to keep the crowd out but a good number of people were already there, including the cameras. Not paying attention to any of them I just ripped open the car door and ran towards my house. You could see the perfect line of where the fire had been and from the echoes from the peacekeepers—which I was barely listening to—I confirmed my suspicions of my parents whereabouts.

The fire had somehow started early this morning, and somehow they had gotten trapped inside. But it was perfectly clear to those of us who were wise enough to the ways of the Capitol, Alice, Ruben, Mags, and even Pete who had ventured out that this was a threat from Snow and it resulted in the death of my parents.

Suddenly it felt like I was drowning as I looked to the charred remains of the right side of my house. The camera crew was calling out for a statement behind me but I couldn't have responded if I wanted to. The world was blurring fast and the sound around me was starting to fade away. Then my knees gave out just as I felt an arm catch me before sweeping my feet out from under me. Without even looking I knew that it was Finnick and rested my head against his shoulder as he started walking off somewhere just as my world went black.

oOo

I'd been in the forest for three days, but I didn't even feel like hiding anymore there wasn't a point. Everyone here but me was dead, but they just left me here like a forgotten toy, so I just laid on the ground, staring out into the greenery. I didn't get up to hunt, or to get water because what was the point. If I was going to be trapped in here for the rest of my life I didn't want to live. But someone kept wanting me to live: Finnick.

Every morning when I woke up a tray of food would be sitting in front of me. I didn't know when it had come but every time I opened my eyes it was sitting there. Every time I ate it too, because even though I wasn't hungry, not eating it would hurt him and I didn't want that. So, I would sit up and force down the food then lay back down and just stare out into the forest before falling to sleep once again. For three days I had been doing that, living in the forest until someone woke me up to the reality that I knew I was missing.

"Annie," Finnick's voice echoed in my head but I struggled to hold onto the place I had gone because I didn't want to wake up. He had tried in the past couple days but not as loudly as this time. "Annie!" He gave a pained shout and the pain in his voice overrode my own, so I blinked with tears already springing to my eyes and looked over to him. "Oh, thank you," He sighed and quickly rushed forward placing a kiss against my lips but I just continued to lie there because the pain of this was worse than the forest. Curling up tighter into myself, I squeezed my eyes wanting the pain to go away. "No, no, no," He whispered, "Annie, please." I could hear the pain in his voice once again and I opened my eyes letting loose a stream of tears that matched his own teary eyes. "Please don't leave me, again."

"Just let me go back, Finnick," I whispered out. "I can't deal with this. I'm not strong enough, and I'm tired of pretending that I am."

I could see him draw back slightly, sitting down at the edge of the bed. "Please just try for me, Annie," he whispered, his voice breaking up slightly and as I looked down to his eyes, he was pleadingly looking up at me. Silently, I pushed up onto my elbows and swung my feet out of the bed, which actually looked to be his, and just sat slumped on the edge. He seemed to perk up a bit at the movement and stood up beside me. "How about a bath?" he asked hopefully and not able to disappoint him I gave a nod.

Smiling he reached out, taking my arm and we started into the bathroom where I immediately sat back down on the side as he started doing everything from filling up the tub to undressing me. I slipped into the soapy warm water, reminding myself that I needed to do this for him as much as I didn't want to. With that reminder, I finally gave a true look to him as he sat down beside the tub. Bringing his knees up to prop his elbows on them, he then put his face in his hands, making him look as broken and exhausted as I felt.

"It's hard for you," I whispered, more to myself as I let it sink in. "You found me broken." Turning to me, we both looked at each other for a long moment before he leaned forward. Leaning forward to meet him, I pressed my lips against his as he wound his hand around the back of my neck. Pulling away only slightly I finally felt myself emerging from the depths as he leaned his forehead against mine.

"We found each other broken," He murmured. "I've just had more time to glue some of the pieces back together."

oOo

After he actually helped me wash my hair, I slipped out and pulled on a pair of his boxers and a t-shirt to wear, because all the clothing I had here was the stuff Auricula had dropped off and I didn't really feel like wearing constricting clothing. Then we both started down to the kitchen, me slipping up onto one of the stools around the island. "Would you like something to eat?" He asked with a small smile and I gave a small nod. "Alright," He spoke and got to work, pulling out some smoked salmon and bread.

"What's been going on?" I whispered after a moment's pause and watching his movements slow slightly.

"Well, the Harvest Festival took place, everyone of course understood that you couldn't come," He informed.

"It's just been three days right?" I asked.

"Four," He corrected a little softer. "You pretty much slept for the first day, and then woke up."

"Oh," I murmured, not knowing what else to say and both of us moved into a slightly awkward silence as he spread the soft cheese on the bread, before layering it with salmon.

"Here you go," he placed it in front of me but stayed on the other side as he continued to pick at the scraps. "Annie," He spoke after a long time and I glanced up from the meal I was picking apart in between eating, "I'm sorry. I had no idea that they would do that to your parents. I shouldn't have gone in there and danced with you. It's my fault."

My heart broke a little more as he looked to me. "It's not your fault," I rebutted softly. "The only one that is at fault is President Snow," I gritted my teeth slightly and stuck my finger through the middle of the open faced sandwich, imagining that it was him, causing me give a small dark laugh. "So where am I going to live, now," I whispered looking up at him again.

"They're preparing the house on the other side of Mags for you," He motioned, while still picking at his own food. That would put me in the house that previously had another victor in it about two years ago before he died but that also meant it didn't need any fixing up or as much cleaning as the other houses would. Looking up to him, I just wanted to get past this. I wanted to go back to how we had been before Snow once again changed my life forever.

Biting my lip, I slipped off the stool and moved around the island up beside him. Confused he turned to me, but I didn't even pause before stepping up to him and wrapping my arms tightly around his back. Instantly he responded, pulling me into him tighter. Shifting my arms around, I wrapped them around his neck as we seemed to share the same idea and he picked me up, walking us both over to the couch. Sitting back, I bent my knees so I was straddling him and tipped my head down to the crook of his neck as both of us just stayed in that position while hugging each other.

"Annie," he whispered after a moment, keeping his hold around me. "I just want you to know that there's still someone who's willing to kiss you, to always forgive you, to carry you…and to love you." He breathed out the last part and I emerged from the drowning feeling a little more as I small smile came to my lips.

"I love you too, Finnick," I whispered and his hold tightened more as I felt his head tip down on my shoulder.


	14. Memories

We didn't move from the couch for hours and when we did it was only to finish our meal and then go to sleep, together in his bed. Now in the early morning I worked to untangle myself from his limbs, slowly unwinding his arm from my waist and scooting to the side of the bed. He groaned and frowned slightly but just rolled onto his side before falling silent again but still with the frown. Smiling slightly to him, I wanted more than anything to lean over and kiss him but I wanted to do this.

Standing up, I moved into his closet and grabbed one of the thick sweatshirts that he would normally jog in during the winter before heading down the stairs. Out the large glass wall in the kitchen I could just see the sun coming up and moved into the kitchen setting the coffee on for when he did wake up for the run, then nabbed a sugar cube, popping it in my mouth. Walking back around to the front door, I slipped on the pair of rain boots which were far too big for me, but they would work for the moment. Then, taking a deep breath I headed outside and turned to the left looking to the remains of the house that I was just been beginning to call home.

Walking up the front walk, I noticed that they had cleaned it up almost so just the single side was standing. Moving around, I didn't even need to go through the front door, just stepping in the hole on the side. I was pretty amazing how they had gotten just that section to come down—less renovation that way I would guess—but the heat had definitely done damage to most of the down stairs. The large windows were shattered in the living room were most of the wall of cabinets was gone, and all of it was charred black including the fireplace which was being blamed for the fire. Walking over to the piano, which I was beginning to love, I stooped down to the cock eyed position it was in because of the legs giving out and swiped my finger over one of the white keys which now all looked black.

Standing back up, I crunched across the glass and into the kitchen which was relatively untouched, so much so that an open wine bottle, cork, and cutting board was still sitting out from my parents. Letting out a sigh, I couldn't take it any longer and started up the stairs into my room which looked just as it had when I left. Moving into my bedroom, I dropped down to grab the suitcase from under the bed and flipped it up on top before rushing into my closet and grabbing everything I might need until the new house was done because I didn't want to come back in here. Everything that was important to my family except the locket was destroyed in the fire. I was even afraid to wear that at the possibility of losing it, so it just stayed on the hook in the bathroom. Everything relating to the family had been in those cabinets and my father's office, even his family fishing gear which had been passed down and was used for simply decoration now. All of it was gone, or so I thought.

Reaching up to the top shelf of the closet, without even looking, I moved to grab the stack of pants but my hand touched a stack of three books and a box. Instantly I fell to tears because I knew exactly what they were without even looking in them. Pulling them down, I collapsed onto the floor, kicking off the boots and looked to the faces of the three scrap books and the carved wooden keepsake box. Popping the top on the box, as I had done many times before whenever my mom added something, I pulled out the pile of things that ranged from their wedding invitation, odd pictures—that she liked but didn't fit into her vision of the scrapbook like me and dad sticking our tongues out—and then family recipes. Then there were also odds and ends like seashells that she thought were pretty, a nearly empty bottle of perfume that grandma and then she wore, and an old handkerchief which when I smelled it, I instantly recognized the scent that dad had always worn since I was little.

Opening the top, I sprayed a small spritz of the perfume on my wrist and smelled the scent which reminded me of summer and now instantly reminded me of her. Biting my lip, I placed it back in the box and moved to flip through the unorganized stack of papers, getting a small smile through my tears. Flipping through the pile I came across another picture which I knew hadn't been in here because I walked past it every day in the front hall. It had been on the entryway table. Pausing I took it out and quickly started flipping through the rest, not looking to the different things as I had before and came by more: a picture of me and mom from Dad's office, a picture of the family from their bedroom, the picture of them on their wedding day draped in the net from the living room. All of these pictures had been hung up or placed around the house which meant she must have known something was going to happen and that's why she put it up here. Maybe that meant that they had gotten out.

"Annie!" Finnick's panicked voice shouted and I mentally scolded myself because I was counting on being out of here before he got up.

"Up here," I shouted back and heard his feet echoing up the stairs. Excitedly I grabbed the photos and met him out in my bedroom, holding them up but just got a confused look back. "These pictures were set all around the house," grabbing his hand I pulled him into the closet and knelt down, him coming down with me because I was still gripping onto his hand. "And all of this was in the cabinets downstairs. They knew something was going to happen." I said excitedly, but only received the confused look back again. "Do you see what this means!?" I questioned but didn't give him time to answer. "They might still be alive."

I watched as his confusion turn to sadness and started shaking my head because I knew he was going to shoot down my idea. "They found the bodies; they identified them through scans, Annie."

"But…" I choked, looking down to the box.

"Your parents were smart they probably knew something could happen," He frowned over at me.

"Then why wouldn't they leave!" I shouted angrily. "Why wouldn't they just leave?" I asked but he didn't answer because we both know why. It's because they couldn't. No one could leave. You had to stay in your district and live out your life in oppression. The thought had been a fairy tale and I more than anyone should know that fairytales weren't true.

Looking down to the pictures and the box I quickly shoved the things back in and put the top back on before carrying them out to sit beside the bag and I quicker than before started shoving things in it. Finnick moved off to the side, just waiting before helping me zip up the bag and then carrying it down as I carried the books and box. I didn't look back as I left that house, even knowing that it would be the last time I stepped foot in it. I didn't want to think about it, it's a place that only smelled of burnt wood, blood and roses now and I didn't want that to be the smell I remembered.

oOo

"Hey! I'm in this one!" Finnick shouted as he flipped up one of the scrap books he and I were flipping through as Mags looked through the box, commenting on the recipes every once in a while. After taking my clothes back we moved over to her house for breakfast because I just didn't even want to think about it anymore. I just wanted to try to move on and not dwell on it and both Mags and Finnick were prefect for that. Both of them had lost someone, exactly like I had—Mags her husband in a car accident, and Finnick his father in the boat accident. Before this I would have thought it to be just unfortunate accidents like everyone else but now I got it. I got why most victors turned to seclusion, drinking, and drugs and it was because there was nothing else to turn to.

Looking to the picture I saw that it was a group of kids playing at the beach, and sure enough he was there with his large group of friends, jumping off the docks. Letting out a small smile he seemed to be enjoying this far more than I or Mags for some reason. Turning the book back around with a smile he started again through the middle section of my child hood, 5-10. Looking back down to my book, I brushed my fingertips over a piece of netting that she had glued in to overlap a picture of my dad and me patching up a net a couple years ago. Across from me, Finnick finished and quickly moved to the baby book.

"Aww, look at little Annie," He cooed jokingly and showed a Mags the baby picture he was looking at. "And this one, look at this one," he continued both of them smiling and cooing.

"Finnick, I'm going to take it away from you," I threatened, but with a small smile.

Glancing to me, I knew what he was doing and fell right into as he made another comment. Jerking forward I tried to grab for it, but he jerked it back off the table so I couldn't reach it. Quickly, I stood up and moved around to take it, reaching across him as he held it at an arm's length. Moving around to the other side he quickly handed it to Mags' conspiratorially waiting hands before grabbing me around the waist and standing up in one fluid movement. Then for the first time I let out a small giggle as he spun me around, his plan working like a charm.


	15. Gluing the Pieces Back Together

"Annie," Finnick called as I blinked away the vision of my mother and father messing around in the kitchen, laughing and smiling. Focusing in on him I could tell that he had probably been calling me for at least a couple times.

Giving him a small grin, I flipped around in the large armchair which was part of the décor in the living room of my new house which was almost like another punishment. Everything about the downstairs area was open, even the fireplace, which was more like a fire pit, opened up on the other side into the office area of the large living room. From every single place in the living room, kitchen, and office I could see that I was utterly alone. Even my private section up the stairs had an open banister in the sitting area (which was converted into a sort of music area, just containing a brand new piano), enabling you to look down over the large room. Then to accompany that in the back of my mind were the three empty guest rooms.

"Come on," He gently took my hand, "I'm done." Nodding I stood up and followed him up into my room which he had been working to make my own. I had seen it before and it wasn't much like my other room with just plain white walls, and simple light blue bedding on the bed which matched the side tables, and dresser. The two things that I did like were the burnished bronze iron headboard, which had scroll work in the middle. Then in the peaked ceiling were the exposed beams that I liked so much from Finnick's house. That had inspired Finnick to decorate it, with the help of Mags, and he had been working on it for the past two days while I continued to sleep at his house. "Are you excited?" He asked a little halfheartedly, which was a shared feeling between us because this meant that I didn't have a plausible reason to continue staying at his house.

"Yeah," I grinned and moved up the last step to look in on the room. Unable to help it, I let out a smile because it was perfect with the main color of light blue being changed to soft yellow-orange like the sunrise. He had covered most of the hard wood floor (that covered the whole house) with a soft white rug that matched the other pieces, including the rocking chair in the corner (that he had taken off my balcony) and the bed coverings, except for the throw pillows which were also striped yellow. The walls were spotted periodically with different pictures and lattice floating shelves which had my scrap books and the keepsake box on it, along with other various books. The only thing that I couldn't see what the locket, but Finnick seemed to notice and moved me a little further in before turning me towards the doorway and I saw it, framed in a shadowbox, but without a frame so I could reach in a wear it if I wanted to.

"Here," He reached up and flipped the light switch and immediately they turned on to reveal that he had strung lights all along the wooden beams, lighting up the dim room. "Like it?" he asked from behind me and I turned to him with a smile.

"I love it," I said softly and moved forward, stretching up on my toes to place a kiss on his cheek but at the last moment he turned his head so it went to his lips. Narrowing my eyes to him jokingly I stepped back and moved over to the cushioned bench at the end of the bed, sitting down and just looking around, but mostly to the wall of glass that looked out to the ocean. I didn't really prefer it at all to the balcony that I was used to but it was nice, especially with the sheer drapes that were drawn across it. But still even with this amazing room I couldn't help but feel like this house was just far too big; too big…too spacious…too empty.

Seeming to sense it he moved across the room and sat down beside me, taking my hand in his. "Tomorrow will be better," he whispered, looking over at me.

"What if it's not, Finnick?" I questioned softly, looking back at him.

"Then we'll say it again tomorrow, because it might be. You never know, right? At some point it will turn out to be true." Leaning over he placed a soft kiss on my forehead before pulling away and I leaned over, resting my head on his shoulder as I tried continued to try and get used to the idea that I was the only Cresta left.

oOo

Finnick was right of course when he said that it would get better. Soon I found myself not constantly haunted by ghosts, there were some days when they would emerge, though I couldn't really think of that as a bad day because then I would get to hear my parents laughter. The bad days were when my nightmares drifted over into daylight hours and I didn't know how to fend against them. They didn't just float around me, harmlessly mingling with my giggles, they taunted them and played with my mind but even those faded with seven solid hours of sleep which I got thanks to Finnick. Every night, whether the wind was howling or it was pouring he would be here sometimes for dinner, or just sometimes if neither of us felt like cooking we would go beg off Mags. But every night he was there for me and by the beginning of spring I hadn't seen them for a long time which was just in time for the spring celebration.

It wasn't really much, just a little district party to welcome home the men that had been up north for months crab fishing. It was almost like a large cookout where everyone would bring what they could to the main beach and there was dancing, music, just a large gathering. But this year it was bound to be good because of the parcels the district got because of me winning. The men could actually enjoy the food that they caught for the capitol, now.

After missing the Harvest festival I was especially looking forward to it, too. I was looking forward to actually going back out into the masses now that I wasn't regularly seeing ghosts; to dancing and laughing with the people that I once called friends less than a year ago. This is exactly why I was up at 5 in the morning and getting ready while Finnick still snored away in bed. Out one of the many outfits in my closet I chose my favorite dress which I hadn't been able to wear yet: a long lace dress which ranged from a dark pink at the very bottom up to a beige at the top. The top had a sweetheart neckline and was a bit form fitting, narrowing in at the waist but then as it got to the hips it just flowed down to skim the ground . Swishing around the corner and into the bathroom I got started on my hair and makeup which was going to be pretty simple all around, just leaving my hair down in soft curls, along with coloring and lining my eyes with brown shades before adding some pink tint to my lips. Just to preserve the curls I pinned my hair up into a bun right as I heard a groan from the bed.

Moving back in into the room I looked to him, my perfect Finnick. My goal for today was to prove that I could be his match to all that might doubt it. Our relationship wasn't well known for obvious reasons and I could see the looks on the faces of those that did know. The mixture of his perfect demeanor and the rumors of my mental stability didn't mesh well together, but I was going to try and prove it today.

Flopping over on his side I watched him reach out for me, his hand moving over the pillow, down to the empty space and scooted forward, slipping my hand over his. Sliding into the empty space I placed his arm around my waist as he took in a deep breath waking up fully. Looking down at him I reached up, brushing my fingertips over his furrowing brow as he took in the roughness of the lace, then trailed it down over his nose and around his lips. Puckering his lips slightly, he kissed my fingertip before quickly opening his mouth and biting down on it gently.

"Hey," I pulled it back with a small giggle and he let out his own chuckle before pulling me to him, but still not opening his eyes.

"Why did you change?" he murmured, rolling onto his back and taking me with him so I was half lying on his chest.

"I couldn't wait any longer," I answered with a smile.

"You're that excited?" he asked with a grin.

"I'm eager. I finally feel good, like I've started gluing the pieces together," I answered softly and finally he opened his eyes to look at me, his smile widening. Leaning up, he met me halfway for a kiss before rolling over onto his other side, pushing up on his elbow and let out a yelp as he brought me with him, pretty much dragging me over his body until I was the one on my back and looking up at him.

"I love you, Annie Cresta," he smiled down at me.

"Why?" I asked curiously as I reached up and wrapping my arms around his neck.

"Because you amazingly strong, caring, sweet…you are beautiful in so many ways," he answered softly while leaning in. Giving my own smile, I leaned up and met him halfway for a loving kiss which quickly turned more passionate as our kisses had been doing lately. Shifting around he hovered over me slightly and I shifted under him more relishing in the feeling of his lips on mine, and his hands moving over my side and down to my thigh where it gripped on gently. I on the other hand ran my fingertips gently over his muscular bare back, searching out every line and down his spine where I got the small shiver out of him that I was looking for. "You do that on purpose don't you?" He whispered against my lips.

"No," I played innocent and he pulled away slightly giving me an incredulous look but that gave me the opportunity to think as I normally did at a certain point. I wondered if those women in the capitol had found that point, or if they thought that he tasted as sweet as I thought he did. Did they know him as well as I was beginning to in this way? What made it more difficult is that he saw the shift as he always did and pulled away, his smile dropping. We never really talked about it, the shift, but I think he knew what it was, or more specifically what was causing it which is why we didn't talk about it.

"I'm going to go get ready so we can head down and you can start enjoying yourself," He put on that wide smile which didn't really reach his eyes fully as he stood up and pulled on the sweatshirt.

"Alright," I gave my own fake smile and sat up on the edge of the bed and he rushed over and placed a soft peck on my lips before hurrying out of the room.


	16. Semblance of a Relationship

Letting out true full laugh I grabbed one of my friend's hands and spun around in the dance around the ribbon colored pole before grabbing onto another as we weaved through each other. All my old friends had embraced me like I had never left, seeming to understand why I had, though I knew we wouldn't fully be the same just as Finnick wasn't the same with all his old friends that he was talking to. I just wasn't the same girl and they noticed it.

Joining hands on either side we skipped forward to the pole and I just caught sight of Finnick watching from where he was talking to a few people and my smile got little brighter though not completely. He had been silent all the way here and then he also immediately broke off to talk to others as Mags, Alice, and I placed a few things on the food table. I knew the reason why, but I just wish it didn't have to be like everything else, I didn't want it hanging between us. I didn't want this thing that he was forced to do three times a year to do this to us; to tear us apart so we couldn't even have the semblance of a normal life and relationship.

Having obviously been seen looking he gave a smile which just made mine fall slightly because I could tell that it wasn't true. Looking away I turned into the next move, once again twisting around the pole before the music moved into the next song and I pulled away. Jumping down off the wooden platform, I reached down and pulled off my shoes to make it easier to walk in the sand and moved over to where Mags was sitting at a table after making the rounds.

"You look like you're having fun, Sweetie," She smiled to me and I gave a small nod as I sat down beside her, just tossing my shoes under before leaning back against the table part. Pursing my lips slightly I looked to where Finnick had now turned back to his friends, just looking to him in a little bit of aggravation. "Something the matter?" She asked after a moment of silence.

"No…I mean not really," I sighed slightly as I pulled the olive green jacket a little tighter around my shoulders just as a small wind blew. She kept looking at me though with those stern eyes and I frowned, "it's just harder than a relationship ever should be for both of us."

"Would you choose not to be with him?" She asked without a shred of judgment but I immediately shook my head no.

"Never," I answered. "I can't imagine life without him beside me." He was the glue that was helping to put me back together and without him there I didn't know if I would immediately go back to those dark places, but it would get bad again. And even if I did get all better I wouldn't be able to live without seeing his smile or hearing his laugh, it would just be a life full of nothing to look forward to.

"Then I guess you two better talk through this thing instead of trying to skirt around it," She smiled knowingly and with a sigh and a frown I leaned my head over onto her shoulder. Reaching up she patted my head and I gave her a small smile before standing back up.

"I'm going to go get something to eat; do you want me to get you a plate?" I asked and she gave a smile and nod.

Moving around, I headed towards the food table, where there was a constant line of people headed through to fill up their plates. Quickly enough, or at least as the line would let me go, I finished up the two plates and turned to head back only to see that Finnick had sat down beside Mags. Hoping that this was the clue that he was over what had happened this morning I placed the plate down on the table and moved around to sit on the opposite side of them. Confirming my thoughts he scooted off the bench beside Mags and around to sit beside me with a smile.

"So you're going to talk to me now that I have food?" I whispered, glancing over at him and he gave a sort of sad smile as he wound an arm around my waist.

"Sorry," He whispered back and letting it go for now I scooped some of the crab salad onto my fork and held it out to him. Gladly he leaned forward, taking the bite and our little make up session seemed to appease Mags which had been watching the whole thing, but I wasn't fully ready to let it go. What she had said was true, that we needed to talk about this, it's just this wasn't the time and I could hold off for the time being. Plus we really couldn't talk about it now that everyone seemed to be glancing to us.

"People are staring at us," I whispered out as I glanced to him with a small smile.

"Well we're confirming a lot of rumors today," he whispered back with a wide smile before taking another bite off my plate.

"It's about time," Mags grumbled, getting chuckles from both of us.

Hours later with the sun going down we had all headed back home and Mags set in early from the long day in the sun which just left Finnick and I sitting in my house with a slightly awkward haze between us. "We have to talk about it," I finally broke the silence and watched his face fall into a frown.

"Alright," he answered just as apprehensively as I felt on broaching this subject causing us to fall back into a silence because neither of us knew how exactly to do it, then I just burst rushing out everything.

"It's just so hard!" I huffed slightly. "I mean, not being with you, but just trying not to think about it. We've never talked about it and I mean I don't really want to talk about it, but I want to be the first. I want to know if I'm the first to kiss you a certain way, or to find that spot on your back like you are for me and I don't know that now." I gasped in a breath as he just looked at me and just kept looking at me as if trying to settle his thoughts. Not being able to take it, I stood up and moved into the kitchen hoping that made some hot chocolate would make this go better than it was. But as I was just beginning to heat up the milk his hands wrapped around my waist, and he pulled me back against his chest gently while flipping off the stove.

"You are my first, too," He whispered and I didn't need to see his face to know that he had a frown. "You're the first to find that spot, because you're the first to make me do that and you know why that is?" I gave a small shake of the head. "Because you're the first person I've ever fallen in love with."

Biting the inside of my lip slightly, I turned around to face him and saw that spark of hope in his eyes and briefly wondered why he had been so hopeless. "I might have experience in that way, but Annie we're on equal levels when it comes to making love." Childishly I felt my cheeks spark red at the explicit mention even though we had been discussing the topic and he obviously noticed by the small smile on his face.

"So I'm the only one that can make you shiver like that?" I asked while getting a small grin.

"Yes," he chuckled slightly. "It was a bit surprising and embarrassing the first time."

"But now?" I whispered as I looked up into his wonderful sea green eyes.

"I like it," He answered back just the same and I let out a true smile as I reached up, winding my arms around his neck. Leaning down, he met my lips in the middle for a soft kiss before pulling away and letting out a relieved sigh. "So you don't want to break up?"

Instantly I pulled back slightly and furrowed my brows as I looked up at him. "Why would I want to do that?"

"Well, because...Annie, I'm not even close to a fit match for you. You deserve so much better," he frowned.

"There are some that would think it's the other way around," I murmured and even though I didn't explicitly include myself both of us knew that I was including myself in that. Reaching up with one of his hands, he brushed it through my hair.

"That's because they don't know the true me," he answered. "If they did then they would know just how much of an angel you are."

"It doesn't matter who deserves who more, and I don't need someone that's perfect because god knows that I'm not." I sighed and pushed up on my toes so I was level with him, my lips almost touching his as my fingers curled up into his bronze locks. "Just know that I never want to live without you." Giving his own grin he gripped onto my sides and lifted me up onto the counter.

"Never?" he questioned as he moved to stand between my legs.

"Never," I repeated with my own grin, scooting forward.

"I like that," he gave that breath taking Finnick smile which made me give my own before leaning in for a kiss.


End file.
